@annabethxchase that’s really understandable. you can do this mental health plan where you get 10 sessions a year with a professional. there is a thread somewhere about it, i think @lokifish made it ? can’t remember! do you think maybe you could open up more to your mum about your dad ? here for you xx
And yes, free help is always great
I'm doing ok @litgym,
I'm so confused. My father keeps trying to be super nice and then he'll turn on me really quickly. All I want is love, not from him I don't want anything from him but I wish that he wasn't like this and everything was normal. I feel like I'm giving up, I can't put any more effort into such a hopeless case. I feel like such a terrible person because I hate him and everyone at school seems to have such good relationships with there parents and it hurts a lot to hear them talking about there fathers with affection, and when they celebrate fathers day. I hate when friends say to me that my dad is so funny and they wish he was there dad. I just think no no no you do not want him as your father. I hate when my relatives and my parents friends say "You look like your father" "Your so like your father" No. That is my actual worst nightmare. I just squirm and no words can describe how much that revolts me. I hate this, i hate feeling like this and i hate that my friends think that my life and my father is great. All he does is drink. I hate alcohol so much i hate the smell i hate how it looks and i hate what it does to people. My father doesn't have a license he lost it to alcohol it is destroying him and he is letting it. He doesn't even know what he says, he doesnt know the pain he has caused, he crashed a car into a streetlight and i just can't stop thinking "What if it was a person?" "What if he killed someone?" He said last year when he lost the license that he was sorry and that he had made a mistake and that he would fix it and that it would never happen again, but it keeps happening and he says that every time.
Sorry for the rant I needed to get it out, feel a bit better now
@annabethxchase feel free to rant ! im so sorry about this and i cannot relate more than what you just said.
does any any of your friends know what’s going on ? i know the pain of fathers day and all that, it was my “fathers” birthday today eeekkk. and having to pretend like everything is okay is so hard, isn’t it ? im so proud of you with dealing with an abusive (is he abusive, correct me if im wrong ?) father do you think maybe spending more time outside, hanging with friends etc you could escape him more ?
i just had a thought is there a specific reason why he drinks ? i know for me (please don’t hate me and yes i know it’s not good) i use it to drown out my emotions and i hate the taste but i still do it ! so maybe he’s dealing with something and he’s taking it out on your family ? just a thought :/
i hope your okay, im always here
No, none of my friends know, I if I told them they would probably cut me off and tell a teacher at school. They don't get it and constantly joke about mental illnesses and abuse. It really is hard, I didn't put in any effort this year and even though he got mad I didn't care. Naww thanks @litgym - yea he is. I spend a lot of time at netball & swimming so don't have to see him during the day to much. I don't really feel super close with my friends are they are really protected so would never be able to quickly organise a time to spend time with them.
I honestly have no idea, I get what you mean and I've heard it a lot but I don't know what he would be drowning out (Maybe he's realised just how horrible he is) He saw his GP a few months back and I saw some paperwork about alcohol addiction and drug addiction and his behavior kind of concludes that he is still a drunken mess. No judgment @litgym, you are still a great person ! Glad you are always here for me @litgym, I'll always be here for you (Unless I'm offline, then sorry )
@annabethxchase aw im so sorry, i wish i could crawl through the your screen and give you a big hug. i know what’s it’s like when people joke about mental illnesses and abuse - it’s not fun ! i will always be here for you even though i can’t be there physically
do you think you could spread your wings a bit and start talking to new people ? even if your just friendly with them in class.
im glad to hear you keep your distance from him as much as possible maybe it’s worth getting some help for you and him ? not saying going together but yeah. oo somehow getting your mum to help in a way ? (i understand if she’s already tried everything) thanks for not judging me...im bit of bad 14y/o....oops
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