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Questioning over whether or not I deserve to be happy

The hardest part of overcoming all of this is determining whether or not I deserve to forgive myself and be forgiven. 

I know deep down I do deserve it, I know deep down that I am not the person I was years ago and I know that I am allowed to move on with my life and enjoy it. 

 

I am not a bad person. I swear I'm not. I wish I could just move on with my life without feeling sick whenever I think about it.

Re: Questioning over whether or not I deserve to be happy

Hey @vachel 

 

Every single of us deserves to be happy, regardless of what our circumstances are. It's great that you are know and feel that you deserve happiness too and that you want to move on to enjoy life. What is it that makes you feel sick about moving on? 

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Re: Questioning over whether or not I deserve to be happy

The fact that I feel this way over my mistakes proves I'm not a monster, I'm a good person who made some dumb choices and I am allowed to be happy and put them behind me.

Re: Questioning over whether or not I deserve to be happy

I feel like I'm letting myself off easy, I feel like I'm simply pushing my problems to the side and being ignorant.

Re: Questioning over whether or not I deserve to be happy

@vachel What steps have you been taking to move on from your mistakes? I think that keeping a journal or a diary to write down your thoughts could be really helpful for you. That way, it allows you to express yourself and clearly organise your thoughts too. Seeing a counsellor or a psycholgist and talking it through about what you've been experiencing is also another step that you could take. If you take on journalling, it could provide insight to them and to yourself about how you've been coming along. 

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Re: Questioning over whether or not I deserve to be happy

I've been speaking to a school counsellor and I've been using KidsHelpLine whenever I'm feeling too down. I know I'm a good person, and I know I deserve to be happy, I just need to believe it.

Re: Questioning over whether or not I deserve to be happy

Hey @vachel,

I totally agree with @Myvo - everyone deserves to be able to live happily and move on from the past.

 

You were right when you said 'I know deep down I do deserve it, I know deep down that I am not the person I was years ago and I know that I am allowed to move on with my life and enjoy it." That is a great thing to know about yourself, and I think it means you can move on. Myo's suggestion of keeping a journal is solid. Have you ever heard of a gratitude journal? I started keeping one a little while ago. It's pretty quick and simple, you just write down at least one thing that you're grateful for every day. Helps keep you focused on the positive, and on the present.

Reachout also has a fact sheet with some tips on helping you avoid negative thinking, if you reckon that might help:

http://au.reachout.com/Challenging-negative-thinking

 

Good luck!

blithe

Re: Questioning over whether or not I deserve to be happy

@vachel What is preventing you from believing that you are? I think that the decisions we make come down to us. You, as an amazing individual with great strength, have the power to make things happen and choose what you want out of life. it is fantastic that you are writing out these self-affirmations to encourage yourself too. You seem like the kind of person that likes to try new things and I'm glad that you've come onto R.O.com to reach out and talk to us. I've got something that you may be willing to try out. It's called OhLife - I think that you'd get a lot out of it as you're in control of it and you can write what you like. 

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Re: Questioning over whether or not I deserve to be happy

I am not a monster, I am not a criminal, I am not a murderer, I am not an abuser, I am just me. I am a good person who did some dumb things as a kid, like any kid and is allowed to move past them.

Re: Questioning over whether or not I deserve to be happy

@vachel Take some deep breaths, take it slow and give OhLife a go. Would you be able to do that for us? You are you and no one can tell you any thing different except yourself. I'd like you take a look at this thread about what makes you unique and practice some good vibes

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