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Re: Questioning over whether or not I deserve to be happy

Hi  @vachel  - have you been using the KHL web counselling service lately? I encourage you to stick with it and discuss some techniques with them for overcoming your negative self talk.

Re: Questioning over whether or not I deserve to be happy

why? what's the point, it's done, it's over. i can't get help and in the end no one cares. everyone hates me, all that's happened since i've been trying to get help is things have gotten worse and you know what, i've lost so many friends because of it. you all want me gone, you all want me to vanish, then fine, i'm sick of being nothing more than a problem.

Re: Questioning over whether or not I deserve to be happy

Hey @vachel 

It sounds like you are really going through a tough time!

Im sorry that you seem so frustrated. But we are all here to help but in order to do that we all need to stick to some guidelines so we can be helpful instead of harmful.

We do not want you to vanish that is the opposite of what we are about here.

 

Please know we are here listening and responding as best we can

Re: Questioning over whether or not I deserve to be happy

Hey @vachel
It must suck to feel like no one cares about you, I cant even imagine how painful that is. Getting help is a difficult step, that is something you should be proud of and honestly if your friends have left you because you want to get help then they were never your friends to begin with. You deserve more, you deserve all the support you need to get through this.

You are not a problem, we all understand that you are going through a lot right now and we may not know you personally but you are human and we are human and we empathize with what you are going through. All we want to do is support you.

How are you going today?
_________________________________________________
**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**

Re: Questioning over whether or not I deserve to be happy

i'm sorry.

Re: Questioning over whether or not I deserve to be happy

@vachel don't be sorry for trying to seek help, how are things going for you now?
_________________________________________________
**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**

Re: Questioning over whether or not I deserve to be happy

awfully. i'm at the lowest point. there's nothing left. there's no reason to keep fighting. every time i try to reach out something ends up messing up, every call i make to kids helpline ends up failing, the chats don't open, nothing works.

i always tried to believe that deep down i was someone who was allowed to be happy, but now i know the truth.

i am a freak.

Re: Questioning over whether or not I deserve to be happy

That must be really frustrating @vachel I can tell that you are trying so hard to reach out and the fact that you still come on the forums is huge. It shows that you have not given up and you still have hope. Have you tried other services as well Lifeline (13 11 14) is pretty good and they can also refer you to someone local.

Happiness is a difficult thing to accomplish and honestly sometimes you need to fight for it. Staying happy is never easy because life has so many challenges, which you know because you are going through that now.

You are not a freak, to me you sound like a person who just wants support and wants to be happy and we all want and need that.
_________________________________________________
**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**

Re: Questioning over whether or not I deserve to be happy

@vachel 

 

I agree with @ruenhonx - everybody needs and deserves to be happy. I can understand how frustrated and upset you must be that things haven't been working out so far. As others have said, the fact you keep posting shows that you are still fighting. I believe that everybody has something to offer and you are no exception.

 

Like so many other things in life, happiness is something which does not come to everybody automatically - I know from experience myself. But please don't give up fighting - the fact that you have tried to get help is really showing your determination to be happy, and I really believe that you can be a happy person, and the lovely human being you deserve to be.

 

Stay strong!

Re: Questioning over whether or not I deserve to be happy

thank you.