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the one thing i rember about apirl is this time when my brother had surgery and i dont know what i was feeling when he was getting all the attention. I felt mad and sad and a mix of emotions. I didnt have reach out then what would i do?
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Hey @Bronze_crumble ,
Thanks for sharing about what has happened for you in the past about your brother having surgery and how you were feeling at that time.
It is pretty natural to have what can be perceived as 'negative' feelings when one gets 'all the attention'. You've given a great example of this. Other examples often seen is when a sibling gets married or has a partner. The other sibling tends to feel 'left out'. It could be seen as feelings of rejection - and this hurts!
It's okay that you felt mad and sad. This does not judge you as a person. Feelings are feelings - they come and go. Humans do tend to have feelings. This is what makes us human. Rather than being judged by the thoughts, it's the behaviours that matter.
What is something that can be done when one feels this way? Or, IS there anything that needs to be done?
What do you think?
well, i just felt that my parents were going to give my brother more attention even if it was my birthday they where always going to ask him, if he was feeling ok or what he wants to do
i think that he was kinda wanting to get all the attention and he was wanting to get everyone to do stuff for him but i dont know maybe i was 12 and feeling like a 12 year old. My brother was always know for the emotional one and i get upset over a few things and there was something wrong with me. And i remember we were playing a game and my brother was yelling at me to give him something and i was so confused and my dad said," you really dont want to do what ur brother says do u." I didnt say anything but i just felt really mad, i was the older kid, how does he get the right to yelll at me. Thank you for leting me share with u. I have a lot of stories of times where i wish i had a website like reachout and its been really helpful talking thank you
Hey there @Bronze_crumble
It sounds like there was a time when you felt as though your parents were treating you and your brother differently - which must have been pretty hard on you! I bet it felt unfair when you got into trouble when your brother yelled at you.
How is your relationship with your family these days?
It made me smile to read about how helpful it's been for you to chat with our community here! I'm so happy you found us 😌
well, i am still in high school and im actually really close with them. I sometimes feel a little like im not good enough for them, but otherwise they are really close to me
Hi @Bronze_crumble ,
That's incredible to hear that you are so close to your parents. It sounds like a very connected relationship.
I'm curious to know whether you have ever been able to raise the issue of your parents treating you and your brother differently, with your parents? As children, sometimes, we expect parents to know and understand what we are thinking and feeling. However, there are many times where they DO need a gentle reminder about what you notice and perceive is happening. For example, you may say, "Remember the time when my brother had surgery? He got all the attention. I did feel quite upset." If you let them know how you feel/felt, it may trigger them to reflect on their own actions. Of course, I'm not saying to point the finger in blame, but more from a 'curious' perspective.
I'm interested to hear what you think about this. It may be a:
1) yes, I'll try it; or
2) no way!
Both responses are totally okay!
well, the only reason I remember this because it wasn't like it happened very often. It's why I'm very fond on this memories.
But I do remember that it got better. It just felt the same after some time by myself and I don't know I got over it. But I wouldn't really tell my parents, it was like they already knew or they knew something was wrong
well, the only reason i remeber this because it wasnt like it happened very often. It's why im very fond on this memories.
But i do remember that it got better. It just felt the same after some time by myself and i dont know i got over it. But i wouldnt really tell my parents, it was like they already knew or they knew something was wrong
That's an incredibly special bond to have with your parents @Bronze_crumble . As much as that memory may have been painful, it may also have been an opportunity to learn a life lesson? Thinking more deeply about it, what do you think you could have gained from this situation which you wouldn't have gained otherwise?
It's just something to think about. I don't have an answer. It's my curiosity that is asking.
Whatever it is, treasure the relationship you have with your family. It's a special one! 🙂
