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Re: Sadness over relationship with my parents

I spoke with my KHL counselor today @Maddy-RO . I've been having suicidal thoughts again which I spoke to them about. My counselor wants me to see my GP. Overall i'm feeling sick and sluggish and unmotivated though. Not feeling the greatest tonight. I'm safe though. 

Re: Sadness over relationship with my parents

@mspaceK  I'm sorry you had a bad day and that you've been having suicidal thoughts again. Smiley Sad

I'm really proud of you for telling your KHL counsellor. I think that was really brave. Heart
Do you think that your GP would be able to organise a review of your care?

I'm glad that you and your sister got to explore the city. I loved the early days of Pokemon Go. I feel like it encouraged me to be more active and explore landmarks and places I hadn't paid much attention to before.

I remember playing Skyrim! It's a great game! Smiley Happy

Re: Sadness over relationship with my parents

Hey @mspaceK 

 

Just catching up on posts. Hope you're doing better today. 

 

How are you feeling about seeing the GP? Heart 

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Re: Sadness over relationship with my parents

@Bre-RO @WheresMySquishy 

I feel unhappy and like i'm just going through the motions because I have to. I have work later which I'm not excited about. 

 

No - I haven't scheduled an appointment and I don't want to. I don't care right now. It feels like it will be pointless. 

Re: Sadness over relationship with my parents

I saw my boyfriend today and he asked me what was wrong and I couldn't tell him. I didn't know where to begin. How can I tell him what is wrong when it feels like everything is wrong? Me, thoughts, work, health, friendships, family, sleep, eating. It just all feels wrong and overwhelming and I don't know why. What is wrong with me? People would say I have been pretty successful over the past couple months. New job, new work, saving and paying off bills and sudden unexpected expenses. Yet it feels like it doesn't even matter. I feel depressed and I don't know why. I hate myself and I don't know why. I don't know why I feel like giving everything up and hitting that "end game" button. How am I supposed to go on when everything feels so wrong? Smiley Sad 

 

I don't know what I need. I don't want help. I don't want anything. I just want it all to stop and that's it. 

 

It hurts and it's not fair. 

 

I don't want to try any more Smiley Sad 

Re: Sadness over relationship with my parents

Aww @mspaceK you sound very emotionally tired and frustrated Heart I can understand what you mean when people ask whats wrong when there's so much going on it can be so hard to find the words to express how you feel inside. It almost feels easier to stay silent than to try and communicate. On that note - thank you for finding the strength to come to the forums and tell us how you feel.

 

I think you are expressing a common frustration amongst people who battle depression. It can feel confusing when everything in life is "going well" but you still can't seem to shake off your symptoms. I'm sorry you're going through this - I just want to make sure you're safe right now? 

Re: Sadness over relationship with my parents

@Bre-RO I'm safe. Just getting ready for work soon. 

Re: Sadness over relationship with my parents

Okay @mspaceK I'm glad you're safe. It can be hard going to work when you're not feeling good. Is there anything you can do before you start your shift to look after yourself? Heart 

Re: Sadness over relationship with my parents

@Bre-RO I just played games before work. I'm finished now and ate dinner and decided to visit my boyfriend. I have a long day at my new work tomorrow about 6 1/2 hours. I'm a bit overwhelmed and feel like calling in sick. But I guess that's the wrong thing to do. I don't know. Maybe I should just push through it anyway despite how I feel. Use it as a distraction kind of thing. Then again it is high stress at times. I don't know what I need right now. 

Re: Sadness over relationship with my parents

Hey @mspaceK I can see how the thought of work would be quite draining for you at the moment. How are you feeling today? Heart

// Spiral outward, keep going. //