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Re: Scared to be alone

Hi @WheresMySquishy ,

 

I really liked a lot of the ideas suggested in the forum. Having Zoom videos open, getting penpals, seeing friends - they were all great ideas.

 

I had a chat to my psych about it, who suggested that it may come from a worry of being bored (or not having anything to do in the future) - like if my boyfriend leaves, I will just have absolutely nothing. Coming to that realisation helped me address it more head-on. These were the specific steps I took:

  1. Each night, I would write a to-do list for the next day. That meant when I woke up, I knew I had things on (even if they were as minor as 'watch an episode of Seinfield'), and it gave me a feeling of purpose.
  2. I really focused on my friendships in Melbourne and reached out to people I hadn't talked to in a long time. Catching up with them in person and over calls felt really energising. It also helped me feel that I have a life outside of my boyfriend and eased the co-dependency that had developed.
  3. I started a Goodreads and a Letterbox'd. Having to-read/to-watch lists on hand is great because if there's some free time that I'd like to fill up, I can go onto my lists and take a scroll through to see if there's anything that really stands out. It reduces the feeling of "Oh, no, what will I do?" which is where a lot of my anxiety stems. Now I can say, "Oh, I'll watch this movie on my list!" 
  4. This one probably helped the most, oddly enough: as soon as it gets dark, I light a small tea-light. The light flickering in my room makes me feel like there's movement in the room, which is calming. It also makes my room feel more home-y, softer and more 'romantic', if that makes sense. It really helps me connect with myself in a way that lessens the anxiety Smiley Happy

If anyone is struggling, I really recommend the candle. Night-time is when it gets worse, and the little movement cheers me up so much. 

 

I hope those steps will help some other people too. 

 

Thank you for the support Smiley Happy

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Re: Scared to be alone

Hey @greenbookshelf 

Thanks so much for sharing these ideas! So cool to hear about what has been working for you. I am a huge believer in the power of the to-do list, i put the smallest tasks on mine and love ticking them off! You've also inspired me to revive my goodreads account - and I love the candle idea Heart Candles really change the mood of a space i reckon, which can be so lovely.

Thanks again for sharing Smiley Very Happy