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Sibling troubles...

I just found out that my younger sister will being transferring into the same university course as me next semester. I knew she wanted to change courses but I didn't know she was planning on doing the same thing as me and it came really out of the blue. I was quite taken a back. 

I'm a bit upset about it because I didn't go into uni straight after school like she did because of my mental health. And I've really struggled in my classes, I do less units than I should in a semester and I've failed half of all units I've taken. She was in university straight out of school and has passed every unit easily. 

As far as things go, she is so much more successful than me. I'm not jealous or unhappy for her, but of course it gets to me sometimes because even though I'm older, I'm feel so far behind my peers. And her joining my course I think would just amplify it even more. Despite failing so often, uni is so special to me because it's so something I thought I would never live to see and I like being involved around campus. But I feel like now I'd never be able to come home and share my grades or class experiences because she'd have one better. 

I'm so glad she has moved out of course she didn't like but I can't help this nagging feeling of worthlessness and failure. Any advice?

Re: Sibling troubles...

Hey @smileandwave (awesome username, by the way!) Smiley Happy 

 

It sounds like you're feeling uneasy with your sister being in the same course as you, and that you're concerned that her getting good/better grades might make you feel down on yourself. I think it's completely understandable that this situation makes you feel uncomfortable and I think a lot of people in your position would feel the same way.

 

I wonder if you would feel comfortable enough having a discussion with your sister about how you guys could be helpful to each other rather than turn this situation into a competition?

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Re: Sibling troubles...

Hi @smileandwave! How are you doing today? It can be so difficult not to compare yourself with others. Smiley Sad I do that a lot too.

I know that it could seem like your sister is doing better than you now, but that might not be the case in the future. There are lots of people who do really well in uni but then struggle to find jobs, for example. She also might not end up in the same type of career as you. She might even have feelings of insecurity herself.

I think it's great that you were still able to go to uni despite struggling with mental health issues and some difficult times. That's an amazing achievement! Smiley Happy