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Slipping back into old habits, dog died, and afraid of my counsellor.

Hey guys, it's been a long time since I've been on here and I really apologise for that. My life has been so busy lately with assignments and essays and stress and drama. Ugh! I've barely had time for myself.

Anyway, so I've been recently slipping back into old habits. I've begun my bad eating habits again and then I can't take it anymore so I eat and then I get mad at myself for it, but I keep doing it. The only form of support I have is online support but that's only like once in 3 weeks if I'm lucky.

My bad eating behaviours are resulting in me being cold all the time, feeling dizzy, sick, faint, sometimes it hurts to breathe and my heart feels a bit strange. But that may not be related to this I'm not sure.

Also, last week my dog was put down. I didn't cry, which has made me feel bad, I feel like I needed to cry for him, I was upset but I just couldn't cry. I don't think I quite believe he's gone yet. Also, the school counsellor has emailed me and asked me to see her this Thursday, she's buying me a photo frame to put a picture of my dog in but I'm scared!

I don't really like her, like I think she's nice but I have seen a lot of counsellors/psychologists and it just doesn't seem to help me, so I'm kind of over it. I am scared she will tell my parents things I tell her, and I don't know. I'm just stressed. Really really stressed.

If you actually read all this, then you're pretty amazing.

Thanks Smiley Tongue

Re: Slipping back into old habits, dog died, and afraid of my counsellor.

Don't worry about apologising for not posting @Pillow - life gets hectic for all of us sometimes and it sounds like it's definitely been that way for you! I'm so, so sorry to hear about your dog Smiley Sad It's lovely that your school counsellor wants to show her sympathy by getting you a frame. Is this the counsellor who brings her dogs to school? She obviously has a real soft spot for dogs and it's a lovely gesture.

 

Did you end up clarifying with your counsellor about what kind of things she would have to tell your parents about, if anything? I think that would definitely help relieve some of the hesitation and fear when you talk to her. It's hard for counselling to work it's magic if you are holding back and don't feel like you can be honest. It may be part of the reason you feel like it hasn't worked for you so far. Is your online support the Kids Helpline web chat? Remember you can call them too, it tends to be a bit more reliable in terms of getting through than the web counselling. You can use Skype if you want, then it's basically the same as a web chat but with voices Smiley Happy

Re: Slipping back into old habits, dog died, and afraid of my counsellor.

Hey Pillow, good for you that you have noticed that you are slipping back into some unhealthy habits. Now that you have realised what's going on and you have written it out here, you do need to take the next step - dealing with disordered eating is something you are going to need some support to overcome. I'd really like for you to have a read of this post from yesterday - like you, they had tried many many psychologists and nothing had ever helped, but finally they found the one that they clicked with and it's making all the difference. Please keep trying - you can't deal with this on your own. Have you ever tried Butterfly Foundation? http://thebutterflyfoundation.org.au/ 1800 33 4673

Online Community Manager

ReachOut.com

Re: Slipping back into old habits, dog died, and afraid of my counsellor.

Hey @Pillow,

I am glad to hear from you! I am so sorry to hear about your dog passing away. You don't need to feel bad about whether you cry or not. We all grieve in our own way, and sometimes, like you said, it can take a while for a loss like that to really sink in. I am glad that your counsellor is buying you a frame for a photo of him - that is a lovely gesture.

I agree with the others - if you haven't already clarified with your counsellor what you can tell her in confidence, and what (if anything) she can disclose to other people - you should do it. That way you don't need to worry and you can just focus on talking to her. It sounds like she really cares about you, I hope you can give her another chance to help you. You deserve all the support you need.

I hope you can get some help for your eating, too.

Take lots of care, Pillow. We are thinking of you!

 

blithe