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Snapping and constant frustration

Hey. I've been looking at a few peoples to get some advice so I guess I'll start here.

I'm a 25 year old male who lives out of home with his fiance - Full time job etc.

Ever since I was little I've always been in my head with weird thoughts and overthinking things to an extreme. Big random feelings of paranoia and guilt and I don't know how to deal with them to the point where if I see someone point at me or look at me or around me and say something to someone else that I cannot hear, my brain goes into overdrive as if theres a big conspiracy to get me. eg. When I was in primary school. I borrowed a cassette from the teacher and used it, I had orange juice on my hand and it was a friday, so when I handed it back I realised that I had orange juice on my hand and thought that had broken the cassette. I was a mess all weekend. freaking out and guilty, couldn't eat or talk to anyone until monday when I checked it with the teacher. All was fine.

Lately - Say the past year or so I've been having a lot of anger and frustration issues to the point where it's becoming a problem for my home life.
I'll start a converstation with my Fiance and we'll chat away and I'll move the subject onto something then the subject within seconds of talking will irirate me and I'll snap and flip out, tell her off and just eat at me.

I'll start having trust thoughts or what not and they will eat at me and build and build until I'm staring off into space and my thoughts are building scenaro's to which I cannot break this feeling of anger and hate and I just want to go and flip out and kick her out the house and blame everything on her.
I've also started to punch walls and just become really unjustly destructive - eg; I had a universal remote for the TV and the batteries had gone flat, I changed them, still didn't work so I threw it at the wall and just closed up. Wouldn't talk, wouldn't do anything for about half an our with my thoughts churning over.

I don't know whats happening or whats causing these issues but I know they have to stop or the love of my life will walk out on me... Any suggestions or ideas to help me overcome this increasing mental problem I've had since I was an infant??


Re: Snapping and constant frustration

Just a side note, I've found myself having alot of OCD lately as well, Cleaning, organising to the point that I will get uncontrollably angry if I've cleaned the house and someone moves something, or uses the TV remote and doesn't put it back or wants to cook or use the kitchen and it's spotless.

Not sure if its all connected, just want to get it all out in a hope that I can overcome this



Re: Snapping and constant frustration

Hi F0tayne, welcome to the Reach Out forums. It's really cool that you can identify that you are having some anger problems and very courageous of you to speak out and ask for help.


There are two sides to dealing with anger and frustration - learning to manage the anger when it happens and working on the deeper issue thats causing it. Reach Out have some great tips on dealing with anger here, like counting to 100 or channelling your frustration into exercise. Here is a story about how one guy overcame his rage by writing a journal. You could also try some relaxation techniques like the Smiling Mind app.


As far as the underlying cause of your anger, along with the possible OCD and paranoia it would be a good move to see a GP or a counsellor for some outside support.


And of course, we're always here if you need to vent! Please let us know if you find a techique that works for you and how you're getting along.


Re: Snapping and constant frustration

Hi there,


I am wondering if there are any drugs, alcohol or medication involved here; and to rule these out if they don't apply.


What you are describing is a "Paranoid Personality" trait. You say you have had these feelings and behaviour since a young age. Paranoia can result from abuse, trauma, emotional stress, denied guilt, abandonment or betrayal and cause this unpleasant confusion. Some may even say that there is a gene for this Personality type.

We here, at this Reach Out forum, are here to help, however what you need is a proper diagnosis from a qualified psychiatrist as medication and counselling will be beneficial.


A main symptom of paranoia is -delusion, as well as irritability, suspicion, introverting, selfishness, depression, being critical, jealousy and anger. People may mistrust others, feel constantly irritated, be easily offended, and unforgiving. They may strongly react to perceived criticism and become preoccupied with conspiracy theories. They may fear being deceived, incessantly argue, change moods abruptly and act in self-righteous and perfectionist ways.


Your anger, aggression and  irritability may be a symptom of this personality type, or there may be several other factors involved. Many young men often have a problem with anger management, dealing with emotions and asserting themselves in the world.


You add the OCD in as an afterthought, and I am wondering if you have always had the OCD and not been aware of it, and that it has become more so as you are attempting to maintain some sort of control, because your thoughts and feelings have spiralled out of control. Once again, a professional opinion and diagnosis is necessary.



What to do for the time being:


-Firstly see your GP, explain what is going on and request an appointment with a psychiatrist or psychologist. This person will be able to assist with medication, counselling and further treatment.

-As a person said earlier, journal and write your feelings down. This can help.

-Talk to someone close, a family member, look for a support group such as anger management class, men's support groups, and ring a hotline if you need to.

-Discuss how you are feeling with your partner and try to talk "it through" with her when you have these blow ups. Try to identify what you are thinking and feeling and why. Don't just run away or clam up.

-Learn a way to get rid of some of this pent up anger and aggression such as a type of sport e.g. boxing, the gym, squash. Martial Arts is a great way to release energy and learn discipline at the same time.

-Do relaxing activities such as go for a surf or swim, read a book, go to the movies, fishing and self care is a must.

-Rationalise your fears- if you are paranoid about something, question your belief. Ask yourself -Where is the evidence?

-Reward yourself for your own good behaviour. If your about to flip out and you don't, tell yourself well done, that was not so hard, I can do that again. Positive self talk does wonders.

-If the situation is too difficult-walk away, breath, count to ten, no one wants to see any violence.

-Try to see the positives of situations, don't dwell on the negatives, have a laugh.

-Look towards a positive role model or family member and aspire to be more like them.

-Get enough sleep, drink water, eat nutritious meals, exercise etc


There are probably many more ideas out there for you. The main thing is to nip this in the bud early. Domestic violence, assault, property damage, road rage etc  are serious crimes and may eventuate if you do not get help soon, and this would further complicate your problems. You have identified that you fear your irrational outbursts are affecting your relationship with your partner and your partner may leave. I hope you seek advice and treatment soon, as you are quite young and many changes can be made, so that you can have nurturing and healthy relationships with others in the future.


Good luck!






Re: Snapping and constant frustration

Hi F0tayne and welcome…


There are a lot of good suggestions in the above replies from ElleBelle and Binky. 


They've provided a lot to read and a lot of food for thought but the most important advice of all is to talk to a medical professional.


Do you have the opportunity to do that? It's better to do it sooner rather than let yourself get caught in a downward spiral.



Just a quick and friendly reminder from one of your Community Managers: is a place to talk about what's bothering you and to help and support each other as we progress through life, regardless of what the issue may be; however, no member of is a medical professional or knows your specific situation. If anyone gives you specific advice, cites specific conditions, or otherwise tells you what you should and shouldn't feel, expect or do, please keep in mind that they are not a professional (unless one of the Community Managers or RO-usernames says otherwise). Smiley Happy

But do please share your experiences here, support and help others any way you can and share in the goodness! Smiley Happy