Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

So much stress

Hi, I've had some issues lately. My alcoholic mother who has abused me since childhood recently moved 2 minutes away and has been drinking despite saying she wants to "get off it". Many psychologists have said she is the cause and a trigger of my anxiety and depression.
Second issue: started a new casual job as a support worker for disabled people in their homes, second shift ever and I had someone on with me who didn't exactly know what to do either, we were both new. The man's daughter abused both of us so bad that I cried on my way home from the shift. Now I don't want to go back there. I don't know what to do about either issue Smiley Sad


Re: So much stress

Hey @Lisalovesbacon, I'm glad you've returned to ReachOut to share what's been happening.


I just want to confirm that you are currently safe from any abuse by your mother, or anyone else for that matter. If there is any risk that she will harm you, please call 000 straight away. You can also call 1800 RESPECT at any time or the day or night. They have counsellors who specialise in domestic abuse and will be there to listen to and support you. You also mentioned that you've seen psychologists in the pain who have diagnosed your depression and anxiety. Are you still seeing them at all? Is it possible to discuss the situation with your mum with them?


I'm really sorry to hear that your patient's family yelled at you. Is that what you mean by abused? It's unfair that your management team rostered two inexperienced staff on together. That is their mistake, not yours, and I hope they recognise this and don't subject you to further remonstrations. Is there a HR manager you could speak to about it? If this person was inappropriately nasty, you should not have to return to that environment.




Re: So much stress

hi @Lisalovesbacon


 If you think that your mother may be the cause and trigger of your anxiety and depression, can you think of some ways that you could reduce this reaction? One thing might be trying to avoid contact when you are having a tough day for example.


If what my mum is saying troubles me, sometimes I try to listen to the words without interpreting them. So I try to hear the words, but not give meaning, not judge , not evaluate. This is sort of hard and definately takes a lot of practise. Its a sort of mindfulness technique that I have adapted. A common meditation technique is to listen to sounds for example, without interpreting it. So often in life we continually and instantly interpret , visualise, judge, evaluate and give meaning to things in life - which may not be emotionally helpful or accurate.


My mum use to be an alcoholic (although sober for over 25 years now). What helped her the most is going to  AA (alcoholics anonymous).


I would definately speak to your supervisor about the situation. Your safety and wellbeing should be the first priority, and if you do not feel comfortable in this situation he should respect this. Hopefully your supervisor will be able to match you with someone less difficulty especially while you a new at the job.



Re: So much stress

hey @Lisalovesbacon  i havent heard from you before so if youre new, welcome!


@Troy and @ElleBelle have gven some great pointers here, have you been able to apply any of them to your situation? keep us updated, we are here for you.

we are what we repeatedly do - aristotle