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Re: Social anxiety

Jochan95 and Youngster

 

i think Joc has made a great point. we are worthy alot more then we make our selves out to be.

i have a similar problem.. i do still go out and socailze but i always think people are looking at me judging. i usually get it worst with females i feel they are looking at me thinking how repulsive i am..

Re: Social anxiety

Ryan08,

 

Yes, I get that pretty much everyday on the way to or back from school. People seem judgemental. It may just be us or they may really be staring but whichever one it is (I know this is easier said than done), we have to stop caring. We shouldnt care about others' opinions unless those people are dear to us. And in this case, they are strangers. We shouldn't care what they think, they don't even know us! If they stare, just smile back. Don't feel awkward, don't feel self-conscious because we have no reason to. It's one of things we have to exercise to get over the initial difficulty. But soon, it'll be second nature and we will become comfortable with who we are and what the world seems around us.

Re: Social anxiety

Thanks for starting this thread supersky.

 

I have social anxiety too. My main fear is that I'm going to do something wrong and upset someone or make them angry at me. I hate the idea that I am disappointing or angering someone. I also hate the thought that someone else might be judging me badly. The fact that I hate making mistakes makes employment extremely difficult for me - if I do something wrong I tend to focus in on it and think I'm doing a terrible job and that others think I'm incompetent which makes me anxious and leads to poorer performance at work. I haven't worked for nearly 3 years as a result.

I've never had a boyfriend either as the idea of being rejected and talked about by my peers makes me too anxious.

 

I have made a lot of headway with it too though. I wasn't attending uni at all when I was first diagnosed but I went back part time and built up my confidence to the point where I am now able to go to uni full time and go out on placements for my degree which is very exciting Smiley Happy. That sort graded exposure is harder to get in an employment situation though. I also now volunteer in a school and as a student mentor both of which I would never have seen myself doing at the start of last year.

 

Like Cassie said, sometimes I just have to force myself to go out with friends or something, even if I'm anxious, just so that I'm getting that social experience. I find that if I start avoiding social outings it tends to make it worse, so even if I'm feeling really anxious I just aim to go and just be whereever it is I need to be - anything else is a bonus. It does make it difficult at uni sometimes though if I'm just struggling to be there and the tutor decides that we should do some group work - that just stresses me even more and I find it difficult to contribute.

 

@Lokifish: I have done exposure therapy and found that it really helped me a lot. I hope it works for you Smiley Happy

@bluebird: I'm doing an assignment at uni on social phobia at the moment and I think social anxiety and social phobia are pretty much just different words for the same condition. My official diagnosis is social phobia too.

 

Does anyone have any good strategies they use to combat their social anxiety?

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Re: Social anxiety

Hey there. It occurred to me that the popularity of this thread suggests that social anxiety is extremely common, and most people probably suffer from it to varying degrees at different times in their life. But the most common thing people seem to be saying is they feel anxious because they are worried about what other people are thinking about them or saying about them.  

 

I suspect a lot of people in these situations are so worried about their own anxiety that they don't even think about being critical of others. I guess what I am saying is that one way of dealing with this anxiety is to realise you are probably not the only one in the room feeling that way. And often the people who seem the most extroverted and socially comfortable are the ones who are the most insecure. 

 

So next time you are feeling socially uncomfortable, instead of looking around and thinking about what other people are thinking about you, try to contemplate that they are just as likely to be worrying about what you think of them!

 

PS. My own pet anxiety is introducing myself to people that don't me... or people that I have only met once. I worry that they will dismiss me... or if I have met them before, they wont remember me and then it will be really awkward. See, we all have our little anxieties. 

 

 

 

Re: Social anxiety

All of my friends are in relationships, bar two of us.. and all the couples sit together and shove the single people out!

Its really sad as I would really love a boyfriend.. to hang out with and to just be with. to love... BEING SINGLE SUCKS! 

 

People tell me its cool being single.. but I have never had a boyfriend in the first place! Apart from that, the only single guy in my group likes the other single girl and said he would rather kill himself than date me!