Socializing

[MemphisBelle]

So I'm preparing to go back to UNI and I'm incredibly scared about it.

I think I've come to a sad realization, I feel like I'm much happier when I'm on my own....I feel so bad about this...apparently I was told when I was younger I didn't like playing with other kids in primary school and was much happier playing in the sandbox by myself. 

I almost don't really want people to know the real me....cause the real me is emotional as hell and hard to listen to.......I feel like I'm probably just going to go to the classes then go home as soon as it's done. I don't think I'll go to O-Week either, I don't like talking about myself at all.

Is it bad to not really like social events and socializing? 

[Sally-RO]

@MemphisBelleI don't think it's bad to not really like social events and socializing. I personally can't do small talk in social situations...you know the type between more than 3-4 people and its a topic I have no interest in??!?!

From what you just wrote - do you think it's a dislike you have around this, or more of a fear/anxiety of revealing yourself to others?

[MemphisBelle]

@Sally-RO

I don't know it's a little bit of both really.

I just feel like I don't want to really take part in the social side of it, just go to class really

[ElleBelle]

You're not alone in feeling that way @MemphisBelle. I'm an introvert, so I prefer hanging solo and find socialising pretty exhausting, especially with strangers. I think I've spoken about this before on the forum, but I didn't really make any friends at uni. I knew some people who did, but they tended to be in one of those degrees where everyone does the exact same classes together, so you become familiar. I was doing an Arts degree, so I almost never had the same people in more than one class. What are you studying? 

The cool thing about uni is that, unlike high school, everyone who is there wants to be there. Everyone is focused on their own education, so there's not really any pressure to have a big group of friends or sit with people at lunch.  You can just do your own thing and that's totally cool. Then if at some point you do want to get involved or make some friends, the opportunity is always there. You could join a club or a study group or go to an event that interests you. You get to forge your own path!

[TOM-RO]

I also had a similar experience to @ElleBelle. Socialising can be really scary as you’re vulnerable and we tend to run a mile when we feel vulnerable. When I was at uni I would go to class and then go home as I feared having to really put myself out there but surprisingly I made one friend and that was from having a conversation with her one on one talking about how hard it was to make friends at uni haha. I don't think it's a bad thing to not like socialising but part of me is wondering if you actually want to form those connections @MemphisBelle? Is it something that interests you?  

[MemphisBelle]

@ElleBelle 

I'm studying Television Production and Broadcasting 

@TOM-RO

I have no interest in forming any connections, I don't want anyone there to get to know me at all. Cause last time, everyone found a few things and felt they felt enough to judge what I was and wasn't capable of...it angered me to no end

[Bee]

Hey @MemphisBelle I'm sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
Sounds like a rough experience with people judging you!

[MemphisBelle]

@BeeIt's not your fault

I'm just unsure how to handle uni really.....I really don't know what to do about it

I don't even really want to go to O-Week...I'm hoping it's not compulsory 

[T4ils]

Sorry to hear this is something that is difficult for you @MemphisBelle. I can definitely relate, I have struggled to make lasting and quality friends at uni.

What are your options for handling uni at the moment? It may be different at each uni but generally O-Week is not compulsory. It is a good way to join groups at uni though and see what is going to be on offer for the year ☺️. It can definitely be daunting to attend if you haven’t met anyone yet!