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Something is not right- Something is totally wrong im sure of it!

You ever wonder why 'things' only happen to you? Well it seems that way for me all the time. I grew up with an abusive step father, then entered a relationship with a man who had drug problems, then I was physically and sexually abused by a bf and now my husband who I thought was my guardian angel, knight in shining armour is making me think 'something's not right'!

Today, for example we argued and we were both at fault but he felt the need to throw a carton of ice coffee at my head and then scare me by yelling threateningly to me close to my face. He threw the drink so hard it when it connected with my head it actually hurt. I was covered in ice coffee i felt like i meant nothing but a garbage bin! This is not the first situation where he has done something to make me feel so low and so disgusting.

I talked to one of my best friends about it but it seems like I am forever talking to my friends about him that ive termed it whinging! So that is why ive come to this forum, I need to talk, I need to listen, I need support and I need to figure out what to do!

Please, please reply and give me your insights. I could keep typing but I feel I better get off because I am always worried he will catch me doing something he wont approve of and another argument will start! So yes, something is not quite right!
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Re: Something is not right- Something is totally wrong im sure of it!

Hey SAS31,

It's unfortunate to hear that things aren't going well with your husband right now; but I'm so glad you decided to come to Reach Out. I myself; don't particularly have much experience with partners; having never really had one before.

However; honestly I would say if you're scared to be posting on here as he might catch you as if you're doing the wrong thing; something is wrong. If you think that he would deprive you of seeking help when you need then perhaps he isn't the person you thought he once was. I'm not suggesting you break up with him unless you deem it absolutely necessary; I think maybe you should choose a time when he seems more relaxed and calm and try to talk to him about things then.

It's important that in a relationship both partners value each other and I'm not saying he doesn't value you; it's just there's no need to get violent with things in my opinion. Anyway; try to talk it over with him because at the end of the day he's the only one who can tell you how he feels.

I hope some of this helped; I'm not sure if it was in any way supportive so I'm sorry if it wasn't.

And also; welcome to Reach Out; hope to see you around!

Pillow

Re: Something is not right- Something is totally wrong im sure of it!

Hi @SAS31 - welcome to Reach Out. Do any of the signs of an abusive relationship listed here sound familiar? From what you've described, your husband is exhibiting some pretty abusive behaviour. Nobody deserves to be hit with objects or be screamed at in a threatening way. It's not whinging to want someone to talk to about what's happening and how you're feeling! If you'd like some professional support, 1800 RESPECT offer 24/7 phone and online counselling. You could also look into receiving couples or individual counselling through Relationships Australia. I really hope you take the next step and keep on reaching out for help, as you are correct about something not being right!

Re: Something is not right- Something is totally wrong im sure of it!

Hey @SAS31 

Sorry to hear of all the unfortunate abuse you've had to experience. NOONE should be victim to such cruel behaviour. It seems your current relationship isn't healthy at all. As @ElleBelle said if the signs of an abusive behaviour sound familar it is important for you to protect yourself and do something about it. You deserve better and I believe you're a strong girl that will do the best thing for you and can get past this. 

Here is a link to guide you in what to do next and where to go from here

http://au.reachout.com/What-to-do-if-youre-in-an-abusive-relationship 

 

http://au.reachout.com/domestic-violence-support

This link is a fact sheet on domestic violence and all the available counselling services closet to you.

 

I would also suggesting contacting 1800 RESPECT, they offer great support for anyone dealing with domestic violence.

 

In the meantime please take care of yourself and know that we at RO are here for you. 

Stay strong 

 

Re: Something is not right- Something is totally wrong im sure of it!

hey @SAS31 that sounds so terrible! Im sorry you have had to go through this and I really hope things improve for you

No one deserves to be treated like this, let alone by their husband

You are so brave for coming here, you should be really proud as it takes great strength to speak out

 and your definitely not whinging!

 

All of the resources recommended are really helpful and if you are able and feel comfortable it would be great to contact them

but if you feel you are in immediate danger, please please call 000

 

Is there anywhere safe that you can go and stay if things get heated? Any family or friends places?

 

Hope you are okay and keep us posted

 

Take care

Re: Something is not right- Something is totally wrong im sure of it!

hey @SAS31 

 

How have things been? Did you get a chance to look at the factsheet?

If it strikes a chord with you, you can contact 1800RESPECT they have trained counsellors that can provide you with information and advice regarding your relationship.

 

Let us know how you go.