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Something serious or just an exaggeration??

Am i depressed? Am i bipolar? Or am i just over exaggerating?

 

For the last year i've felt quite loenly and sad. But it was just at night time, i would cry myself to sleep nearly every night. But i would only feel lonely at night. At school i was happy, enthusiastic, and made jokes. But when it was night time i just broke down.

 

A year later i'm starting to get sad during the day, crying in class, then being fine 20 minutes later.  There was this one incident where my year group was trialling for our swimmining carnival and when it was my turn to swim, halfway down the lane i stood up and just cried in the middle of the pool. Thoughts of how lonely i am, how i have nobody ran through my mind when i jumped onto the starting block. Not to mention that i was petrified because i think im a bad swimmer. 

 

I'm so confused as to whats wrong with me. Sometimes im fine but other times i think about how i'll die and how much happier i'd be. Am i depressed, bipolar?? Or am i just simply sad all the time?

 

I've never talked to anyone about this before because i get scared. I get anxiety if i have to go into a shop on my own or order my food at a restaurant and my mum has to do it for me. So i guess i just have a lot of trouble speaking to people face to face. I find it petrifying. 

 

I tried talking to my close friend and she just said i was being silly because she always see's the happy and enthusastic side of me.

 

These holidays i've stopped going out. I dont want to anymore, most of the time i've been sitting in my room all day in the dark. I have completely deprived myself from social things. I used to love going out shopping with friends, seeing movies, playing sport. But now i have absolutely no interest at all. 

 

 

I just want to know if i should be concerned or if i'm okay. Please help me. 

Re: Something serious or just an exaggeration??

Hi @sarah25702

I think you already know that something is up with you, and that you're not okay. It's really good that you're able to see that and that you're questioning what's going on because things really can (and should) be so much better.

It's great that you've come here looking for help, and while we're super happy (and wanting) to help you we can't tell you whether you have depression or anxiety or bipolar or anything else. The only people who can really do this are mental health professionals - psychiatrists and psychologists.
It would be amazing if you think you'd be interested in/able to set up an appointment with one of them. I'm glad that your mum sounds to be so supportive, so maybe she could help you out with that.
There's also the option of starting off with something that isn't face to face if that's too big a hurdle for you right now. kidshelpline and eheadspace offer different options like email, web, and phone services.
Do you have any thoughts on these?

Anyway, we're very happy to have you here and will gladly be here to help you through anything/everything.

Re: Something serious or just an exaggeration??

Hi @sarah25702, thank you for posting!  Wow, it really sounds like there is a lot going on right now and that it's quite confusing for you!  It might be worth looking through some of the stuff here to help figure out what you're experiencing, specifically you might want to check out this (recognizing something was wrong), this (I feel better) and this one too (feeling sad without knowing why). 

 

It's super normal to feel sad sometimes (and it certainly doesn't mean that something is wrong with you!), but if you feel sad often, or want some help, then talking about it can be really beneficial.  Have you thought about talking to your school counsellor? If you want a diagnosis, then your GP is where to go. 

 

What are your thoughts when you feel down?  What helps when you feel sad? 

 

Also, here is an animation about sadness that might be helpful.  The suggestion of writing down what's making you sad might really help.

 

Hope you start feeling better soon, let us know how you're going!

 

Re: Something serious or just an exaggeration??

Hey @sarah25702,

 

How are you feeling today? I am sorry you have been feeling lonely for so long. That is not a nice feeling and it hurts when people around us don't understand. I want to assure you that there is help out there and there are people who can help you understand and manage these feelings.

 

You can chat to eheadspace anytime, either online or by calling them on 1800 650 890. If you are willing, I would also suggest having a chat with your GP as well. They'll be able to provide you with a referral for other professional services.

 

Please let us know how you're doing and how we can further support you.