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Still Stuck

I'm stuck in this house,

There's nowhere to go.

No even to the park,

just down the road.

I live with my mum,

Or so I think.

She's always at work,

Or out having a drink.

My bro is around

Always on his iPad.

I love him,

But not his dad.

His Dad is abusive,

Always yelling and swearing.

Constantly hurting other people,

Without even caring.

Then there is my gran,

She's pretty rough n' tumble.

She seems pretty strong,

but even she can start to crumble.

 

 

I'm currently on holidays and starting to struggle,

I want to protect my family, don't want any trouble.

I spend time in my room, hiding what I'm feeling,

But now I just can't stop the process of peeling.

The layers are crumbling, exposing my bones,

What I'm really feeling is starting to be shown.

I'm not telling them but I'm struggling to hide,

All I want to do, is keep it inside.

I want this all to stop, and start the movement of healing,

I just can't start to shake this lonely and shitty feeling.

 

Re: Still Stuck

I don't know why I want to feel bad, but I do.

Re: Still Stuck

Im amazed by your ability to express your situation in such a beautiful way, that's a beautiful poem with a lot of pain. It takes courage and skill to be able to express yourself in such a way. Thank you for sharing. Holidays can be a struggle when you're in the same house too often with your family and even the happiest of families can't tolerate one another. It's no wonder you're struggling, so don't feel bad for feeling bad. Feelings are what they are and sometimes it helps to embrace it and move through it instead of just trying to shake it off. What's been Happening for you ?

Re: Still Stuck

@FootyFan26 how are things going today?

 

I must say you have an amazing talent in regards to writing poetry, do you find it is a useful way to express how you're feeling? What is one thing that you will do today for yourself that is positive?

Re: Still Stuck

@FootyFan26 Loved the poem. So much emotion in it. Hopefully writing poems helps you express how you feel in good ways.
If your interested you should check out quotes/poems/lyrics in hangout. I would love to see ur poems there.

Keep your head up. Don't let things bring you down.

Re: Still Stuck

@Glass_half_fullnot much has been happening over here.  I'm not really in contact with any of my mates and I'm not allowed outside by myself fo I usually just isolate myself even further than I need to.  My bro has been on extremely annoying highs where he's overly happy and won't listen to me and my grandma's still stressed and makes mountains out of mole hills a fair bit but then tells me not to do the same.

 

@mimbochi `I don't think when I write poetry like this and I don't read it over.  I write it and then put it out there, I still haven't read over it.  It doesn't really have any positive effects though, on the rare occasion I feel like writing I will.  Today I was pretty average until tonight when I decided I shsouldn't be happy.

 

@Truth18 I might hop over there soon.  Depends on how motivated I feel I guess.

Re: Still Stuck

Was there a reason as to why you shouldn't be happy? Have you given more thought into contacting KHL or eheadspace?
Are there other things that you enjoy besides the drums and footy that you can do?

My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ

Re: Still Stuck

@stonepixie I think I've just given up on trying to be happy.  The happiest I've felt in a while was playing games on here with you guys.  I only ever think about contacting KHL when I'm at absolute breaking point, most of the time I don't even contact them anyway.

 

The only other thing I can think of is playing on the computer but that can be pretty limited in the morning and night because it's in my brothers room and he sleeps until 1pm sometimes.

Highlighted

Re: Still Stuck

@FootyFan26 that's awesome you enjoy the games on here, glad to hear you think we can be fun haha!

 

I know you like computer games from what you have told us, have you tried other things like puzzles, or solitare (card games) I've also seen a bunch of wooden puzzles and things you can buy sooo cheap from Kmart. I know it sounds totally old school but honestly can be kind of fun sometimes! 

Re: Still Stuck

And what about other hobbies like gardening or making stuff

 

Also, what games do you play? I just got Batman Arkham Knight Smiley Very Happy