Stress & Anxiety around Working/Interview

[Bee]

@DIVYA I didn't get the job

@Esperanza67 I took time over the weekend to do some fun things, the highlights included making a penguin and duck in top hats and watching the Peter Rabbit movie

I'm not too hopeful about the second interview, but there were positives from the interview so it's really hard to tell.

[basketofmonkeys]

Hey @Bee, how are you going today? I'm sorry to hear that you didn't get the job, but I think it's amazing that you still went through the interview process and were engaged in your self-care the whole time. Interviews and stuff can be really stressful and we are all here to help you whenever you need

You are such a great moderator here on RO and that's really indicative of your ability to commit to something and work hard (and do it well, too!). I'm certain that at some point you'll find the job that's perfect for you, and it'll be able to let you use all of the amazing talents you have in the workforce.

BoM <3

[Bee]

@basketofmonkeys thank you reading your last paragraph really made me smile!

I heard back from the second one the other day, and I didn't get it, which I kind of suspected would be the case.

I had a very emotionally challenging appointment with my psychologist today, but I'm feeling okay about not getting either job now

[Esperanza67]

Hey @Bee, I'm so, so gutted to hear that you didn't get the job . How are you going today? I agree with @basketofmonkeys, I'm also certain that you'll find a job soon - it's all a matter of when, not if.

[DIVYA]

@Bee I am soo sorry, but don't you worry this is the part and parcel of the whole job process. I am sure you'll find a job soon, just don't give up

[Bee]

@Esperanza67 @DIVYA 

Thank you both for your love
I know it's part of the job searching process
My psych said to me the other day in our appointment that they were really impressed with how I handled going to BOTH interviews (on consecutive days) despite how much trauma and anxiety there is for me around job search and work and previous job experiences.

Right now my reaction to not getting those jobs...

I initially found Joey, but then I saw this one from Alice and had to include it

[DIVYA]

Since we were talking about anxiety associated with interviews, I felt that I should share an experience I had a few years ago. So, growing up I was always very introverted  and I lacked confidence, I even tried to avoid situations where I had to meet new people or even talk to them. In fact not talking to people who I didn't know was my comfort zone. However, I was very extroverted with the people I knew like my best friends. Now coming back to the point, I had an interview that was very important to me, I thought that career wise it will be an amazing opportunity for me and that I will definitely get the job as I am prepared and I will be able to answer all the questions really well. I also told myself that I will put the anxiety on the side and just give my best. 

However, when I reached the interview location and was called in, I got to know it was a group interview.  It was that very moment that my heart started to race and I got really nervous with thoughts that I will mess it up. AND thats what happened, because when I was asked to introduce myself to the group I started to go blank and my hands started shaking. I also saw the interviewer looking at my hands and that was the time I realised that I have lost the job.

This experience petrified me and after the interview, I thought to myself that how can I let an emotion rule me, why can't I control it. Fast forward to this day, whenever i have an interview I tell my fears that ' you can't be bigger than me' and that 'you can't control me'. I then started to take rejections and acceptances as a part of life. It took me some time to overcome the fear but I started to push myself a bit from my comfort zone and evolved.

PS: sorry for making this lengthy but I thought I should share this as it might help someone with their anxiety or make them feel that they are stronger than they know . I was wanting to write this earlier but I just felt it today

[Bee]

@DIVYA thank you for sharing your story! I can't imagine how terrifying a group interview would be - I've never done one!

I agree that both rejections (as painful as they can be) and acceptances are part of life and the job seeking process, and I know this time around, I've found it somewhat easier to accept I didn't get the job.

What strategies did you use to help you overcome the anxiety around interviews and telling the anxiety it couldn't be bigger than you?

[DIVYA]

@Bee I did many things to overcome my anxiety. Like I used to expose myself to different situations where I only had to option to open up and interact. I started by taking public speaking workshops in which initially they used to give me topics that I had to prepare a speech on and present it in front of my class, following which I engaged in a lot of group discussions on random topics where each student had to participate, so there was no escape from speaking up. This way I started to become more comfortable speaking in front of people. I also volunteered as a public speaker for organisations that built a lot of confidence in me. What I also found helpful was deep breathing before an overwhelming situation like an interview and then positive self-talk, which involved telling myself that feeling anxious is a very common emotion and it is not just me who feels it, it is my time to give me best, I know what I am here for and it is just an interview not a war zone. Also, if there is any question that is tricky in an interview, it is a good idea to pause a little in order to use thoughts effectively and then answer the question, which is something my public speaking coach taught me and works really well for me.