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Struggling a bit

Posting so late again, but guess who can't sleep again Smiley Very Happy


Just sent an email to my school counsellor detailing every single thing giving me trouble and I feel like I've made a mistake bc she's just trying to enjoy her holiday and I shat on that with my worries. But now I can't stop thinking about all the troubles so aha hi anxiety, he's decided to stay the night.


Anyone else get that feeling where you don't have words and you just don't have the energy deal with so many lines of thought at like midnight, or any time for that matter? I don't even know if that makes sense.


Re: Struggling a bit

Hi @unwind,


Thank you for reaching out to us again Heart It sounds like last night was a challenging night for you, how are you feeling this morning?


Reaching out to your school counsellor would have taken so much courage to do- putting the thoughts and worries down on paper can be really hard, and I want to acknowledge the strength it takes to make that step Heart She may not see the email until she gets back to work, but knowing how you are feeling right now will help her to offer you the best support she can Heart


When you are thinking about your worries before bed, and they are feeling really exhausting, is there anything you have tried before that helps to get through?


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Re: Struggling a bit

Oh boy @unwind, I've definitely sent late-night emails that I majorly regretted the next day! I think it's best to avoid writing emails late at night as general practice, or at least if you do write something, proofread the following day before sending. I don't know about you, but I tend to become highly sentimental the more tired I get, plus I ramble and my humour gets even stranger, so it's best for me to wait until I can reason myself better.


In this case, the email's sent now, you can't do much about that! I wouldn't worry much about your school counselor. Remember, she's a professional. She would know how to disassociate from her counselling work when having times off (i.e. on evenings / weekends / holidays), so that she isn't preoccupied when trying to relax, otherwise she'd go pretty insane. She will absolutely feel for you in the moment, but it won't become a lasting worry / concern unless she has reason to believe that you're in danger (and it sounds like you're safe in that sense?). She might simply put the email on her 'follow up' list for when work goes back. Smiley Happy Plus, this is probably not the first time she's received such an email from a student during the holidays! If you've sent this to a work email, she may not even check it until she goes back to work. So I think your counselor will be fine. Smiley Wink


"Anyone else get that feeling where you don't have words and you just don't have the energy deal with so many lines of thought at like midnight, or any time for that matter?"

I feel it haha. In fact, you managed to put into words exactly how I've been feeling over the last few days, which is more than what I could do. I haven't been sleeping properly though (i.e. going to bed at ~12:30), so I think that played a major part. I tried sleepy properly last night (~10:30) even though I didn't feel like it, and it's done wonders for how I'm feeling today! Could you maybe force yourself to bed earlier tonight? Anxiety and tiredness is a spontaneous combination it seems Smiley Mad 



Re: Struggling a bit

Hey @Jess1-RO, thanks for your reply Smiley Happy


I'm feeling a lot better this morning. Last night I was really worked up about the contents of the email but I've come to my senses now, if that's the right way to put it, and I'm glad that I got everything out there. However, from now on I'm going to only send heavy emails like that during the day, preferably in the morning, because I have a greater range of distractions available, compared to early morning when everyone else in my house is sleeping.


Usually I play my ukulele to distract and calm myself down, I try to imagine the strings and different chords as worries, and every time I play them they become less and less like worries and I focus on the sound they make.. eventually I get immersed in learning a new song. It's hard to do that at midnight, so I tend to get a bit stuck when I've got bad anxiety late at night. I'm considering purchasing an adult colouring book -- I've heard that they're really good for distraction and relaxation.


Night time is just the worst time, most of my distractions create noise because that's just how I calm myself down and majority of the the time my parents are sleeping. I think I'm going to compile a list of things that I can do silently, or reasonably quietly, one day this week.


Re: Struggling a bit

Yeah, I get like that too @nyke, the later it gets, the more in my feels I get, especially if I'm listening to music. I'm not sure if this makes sense, but I prefer to write out things of this nature at night time because I find that I'm able to get more of my emotion out on the page and better express myself.


Maybe next time I shouldn't actually send it though Smiley LOL, I wanted to proofread it, but I was feeling so desperate. But like you said, there's nothing I can do about it now, so I'll stop fiddling over it!


Honestly, you sound like my quietly screaming reasoning voice that I managed to block out last night with anxiety. I feel like I should open up to one of my friends about this, I'd have someone to talk me down from making things up when I recognise that I'm overthinking.. hmm. And just to answer your question, I wasn't in danger or anything. I was just really restless and fidgety.


I've been staying up WAY too late recently talking to a friend who I haven't spoken to for a few years, we've been up to like 2am talking haha. I think I want to go to bed early, but then the time comes and I feel bored? Smiley LOL

In my head I say "I could sleep, or I could ..." I get a strange burst of productivity at night time & I feel so awake once it hits like 10pm Smiley Indifferent

I'm going to try to calm down a bit earlier tonight, I might even change the time on my clock after 8pm to make it say 10pm, so that by the time it's actually 10pm I'll start to wind down -- who knows if that will work Smiley LOL


Re: Struggling a bit

Haha, that clock trick might actually work! You might still find yourself feeling productive when the clock says "10pm" (when in fact, it's actually 8pm).

Re: Struggling a bit

Yeah, I'm hoping so @nyke.. I'll let you know how it goes haha


Re: Struggling a bit

hey @unwind

With your email, i firstly want to say well done as i know thats not easy to do. One thing that might put your mind at ease is if shes on holidays it also means she wont be checking her emails (so if you dont hear from here till closer to school then youll know that is the reason) It is up to teachers and staff also to put up their boundaries (ie no checking school emails until a certain date)

Night times are the worst for me too in coping, so can understand how that might be affecting you as well.

Can i remind you that kidshelpline is also open i think 24/7 or open late and then early morning so if you need to talk to someone even at unusual hrs theres aways someone to talk to.
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**