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Struggling a lot

I've always been a particularly normal and happy person, I never felt very alone or that my problems were too big for me to handle, but recently a lot has been changing and i feel myself seeping into a dark place. 

 

I recently had a falling out with my best friend and we no longer speak. I'm not saying that i wasn't at fault because i am partially at blame for why were no longer friends, but its so hard to just not be friends with someone you have been so close to for so long. 

 

My emotions are a rollercoaster and I can feel happy but then just think about her or her be mentioned in group conversation and i just get very down. And i struggle to be happy again. We share a lot of friends so i can't just move on because she's always there. I don't know what to do or how to make myself be happy with her still being in my life without us talking at all, because right now its just making me so depressed.

 

I can also tell she's been trying to get our other friends on her side, and i'm just trying to be mature and leave other people out of it, which is so hard when she's turning others against me. Uh its so hard to think you know someone until you see their bad side.

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Re: Struggling a lot

Hey there @Mstar123, you sound incredibly self-aware. It takes a special kind of person to acknowledge their part in a friendship breaking down - well done for this. I am so sorry to hear she is not handling this in a very mature way, that's a reflection of her character more than anything. It is painful in life when we find out the people we thought we knew have darker sides that we did not know existed, the important thing is you keep your self safe and keep checking in with people who support you whilst this happens. Are there any friends in your group who aren't taking sides? Or are they all listening to her stories? Is there anyone close to you, you trust to talk about this to?

 

I will tag some other members too for their input Smiley Happy

 

@Bee @redhead @mrmusic @N1ghtW1ng

Re: Struggling a lot

Hey @Mstar123 I've just removed your other identical post from wellbeing, as you already have an existing thread here in tough times Heart On RO we aren't able to crosspost, you can read about this in the community guidelines. Smiley Happy 

Re: Struggling a lot

Thanks - that means alot. 

 

I've talked to a close friend that Ive recently become friends with but she (the girl i'm no longer friends with) was the person i told everything too and was super close with so now its like there is a hole in my life. 

 

I just don't understand how someone who knew everything about me, my thoughts and emotions can just all of a sudden cut me out and act like a stranger. Its like she forgets everything ive ever gone through and wants me to feel like crap. 

Re: Struggling a lot

@Mstar123 I'm sorry to hear about the falling out with your friend Smiley Sad
I know how difficult it can feel to loose a friend, so I sympathize with you. I think it quite reasonable for you to feel like there is a hole in your life now, especially as she was such a close friend! I'm so glad to hear that you've spoken to other friends - that is an awesome step! Smiley Happy Has it been helpful talking with them?

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Struggling a lot

Talking to my friends has been a little bit helpful but i still feel really down and angry towards the whole situation. I dont want to be angry or upset or depressed I just want to move on and enjoy my life but its so hard when we share all of our closest friends.

Re: Struggling a lot

@Mstar123 it's understandable that you're having these feelings, as much as they might hurt Smiley Sad

It sounds like this situation is interfering with other areas of your life. Do you think it'd be helpful to take a break from your friends and focus on those other areas for now? When I've had friendship dramas in the past I've found that exercising, spending time with my dog and engaging in other hobbies was really useful for me Heart
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No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish

Re: Struggling a lot

It might help. I'm currently moving jobs so i no longer work with her so that will be a bit help. 

 

Just don't know how I can move on and forget about her and just not miss her, or be angry 

Re: Struggling a lot

@Mstar123 I can imagine that'd definitely help!

It'd be nice to have a quick fix for these things, but unfortunately I think sometimes it just takes time. You've lost an important part of your life, so it's okay to take time to grieve, as silly as that might seem Heart

What sort of things do you normally like to do to lift your mood?
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No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish

Re: Struggling a lot

Um usually watch youtube videos or hangout with my friends