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Re: Struggling a lot

Hey @Mstar123. Thank you so much for posting about this. I went through a similar experience in high school, and your words really resonated with me.

I'm wondering if you've ever spoken to a counsellor, or if that's something you might consider?

Thinking of you!

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: Struggling a lot

Glad someone can relate. I haven't and was (still am) considering it (counselling). 


Over the weekend I went out and hung with some new people and also had some new great experiences with old friends. So as an update that has really helped me to put this situation in perspective and realise I will get through this. 


I know i'm happy right now and most likely later will feel sad about it so still looking for help with the situation but at least thats some progress.

Re: Struggling a lot

Glad to hear you're doing better and have been re-connecting with some old friends - falling out with people you trust is really tough, and it can be really hard to resist isolating yourself after it happens. Touching base with friends kinda makes you remember that even though you might not be on speaking terms with that one person anymore, you're definitely not alone, and that there are other people who will help you get through this (and other things to come).


It's also great that you're actively thinking of ways to get help and look after yourself. Keep us posted on how you go! Smiley Very Happy 

Re: Struggling a lot

Hey @Mstar123, thank you for sharing your story Smiley Happy I've had similar situations in the past with friends ditching me. I found the best solution was to find new people and that really helped me.
I'm glad that you had fun over the weekend Smiley Happy Hopefully the new people turn into new friends Smiley Happy

I hope you have a good week! Smiley Very Happy

Re: Struggling a lot

Yes, I hope so too! 


Update: I've started a my new job which is going really well, and is helping me to move on and forget about my old friend. As sad as it was she was holding me back (the main reason i hadn't moved jobs yet was because of her). She was struggling herself and It made me feel like it was ok to just breeze through life without working hard. And that's not the case. It made me feel shitty having a crap job and sitting around all the time. I now feel a lot more productive as my new job has a lot of new responsibilities. 


Although things are going better I still get bursts of saddness or anger, especially when I have to see her at group outings, and when she talks in our groupchats. It just angers me that she seems not to care, after how close we were. 


Alot of people have told me that loosing a best friend is exactly like breaking up with a boyfriend, and that is 100% it. Something that took up so much time and energy and made you so happy all of a sudden gone from your life. It makes me think what I have to live for now shes gone, and although i know other things, its just hard sometimes.

Re: Struggling a lot

@Mstar123 I'm so glad to hear that the new job is going well! Smiley Very Happy It can be quite liberating to break free of someone who's been holding you back in life.

I also agree that it can be like breaking up with a boyfriend. The emotional part of our brain isn't always great at differentiating - all it sees is a relationship with someone that's now no longer in your life. It can really suck, but that's okay.

You mentioned you've thought about counselling - where are you at with that idea right now? Heart
No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish

Re: Struggling a lot

I don't know - i know it would be helpful but i don't have much time or money to spend on it. 


I also am unsure if i fully need it? Talking about it seems to  help but im still unsure

Re: Struggling a lot

@Mstar123 that's understandable. Those are some pretty common concerns so it's normal to feel a bit unsure.


What would you think of chatting to a service like Kids Helpline? They have free online or phone counselling and you can talk about whatever you'd like (I remember one conversation I had with them years ago, where we spent half the time just talking about food... Smiley Tongue). Of course, we're here for you too Smiley Happy

No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish

Re: Struggling a lot

Ill think about it and give it a shot, 


For now i might stick to RO i think its helping

Re: Struggling a lot

@Mstar123 yay for the new job! Smiley Very Happy Leaving a bad job and getting a new one can be such a wonderful feeling, I'm glad it's working out for you Smiley Happy

Are there any strategies you could try for when you encounter your friend during group chats or outings? It can be tough to loose someone close to us that we've spend a lot of time with but it does get better Smiley Happy

In regards to counselling, not having much time or money can make it difficult, although online services such as KidsHelpLine, while they do have wait times, are a great free alternative to help us out when we need it. But as always it's up to you Smiley Happy