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Struggling to forgive


I am pretty new and not sure if I am doing the right thing with this, but here it goes.

If I have done the wrong thing I'll delete this. I am so sorry if this was a mistake.


I don't know how to forgive someone and not over something small. 

I feel so guilty because this person, I can see where they came from in doing this thing. But what they did took something, my choice, away from me. Completely.


Not only that, it exposed me to something I was and am not ready to deal with, identified my issue in the most public manner and now can't be taken seriously.


I am being vague, I know. I just don't know what I really can talk about here without getting into trouble.


This person means maybe the most to me and I want to feel better. I want to learn to forgive and talk to ppl again. But I feel guilty for being so angry but also like I can't talk about it all because it is really me who is a bad person.


Is there stages to forgiving someone? Or should I look to talking this out with the person even if they can't understand? I don't want to hurt them or lose someone.


Sorry about my long post.

Re: Struggling to forgive

Hello @Bickers and welcome to ReachOut!


I can hear that making this first post has been tough, and I want to thank you for reaching out to us here. We know that it takes a lot of courage to speak up and share what is happening in your life, and we want to do what we can to support you Heart


Forgiveness can be really tough sometimes, and I'm hearing that trying to forgive is really hard for you right now, is this right? It sounds like the person that you are looking to forgive is someone really important to you, do you want to tell us a bit more about the situation?


I can see that you are wanting to make sure that your post is within our guidelines, and we really appreciate that you are looking out for our community! Smiley Happy I want to assure you that you can speak about what is happening in your life here- we are here to listen. We always communicate with members if there is anything in posts that needs adjustment to be in line with our guidelines, but so far you are doing great! Do you want to tell us a bit more about what is happening for you? 


ReachOut has some resources that you might find helpful to look about about forgiveness. We have an article here on forgiving someone and a thread from our forums here where other young people have discussed the topic of forgiveness.


We are here for you Heart



Check out our community activities calendar for October 2019 here

Re: Struggling to forgive

you forgive someone for you not for them. show that you are strong and that you can move on. do not stay mad or guilty just try to get up move on from it all. But you also really need time.

Re: Struggling to forgive

hey @Bickers, just checkin in to see how you are this week? 

I hope @Jess1-RO's reply was helpful - I agree with her that you did amazingly to share with us, and that you have no reason to apologise for reaching out for support!! 

You can come here and share with us whenever you need Heart


@cemetarygirl332 thanks for you reply to this thread too - I am sending you an email to the address you signed up with, could you look out for it today please?


I'm leaving ReachOut on the 5th of June Smiley Sad Say goodbye here

Re: Struggling to forgive