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Struggling with a bad life with no friends to get help from.

Hello. I'm only 14 years old, but I am already stuck in a really horrible life with absolutely no way out at all. 

I have almost no friends. Everyone in school would often talk behind my back and make fun of me. To escape this, I always do the things I like, and simply just forget about my studies because they would often remind me of these bad times. Because of that, I am really bad in my studies. But I still couldn't take it any longer. I love video games, anime and movies, but my family kept thinking I am too addicted to video games. But that's all I can do. Everything else I do just makes me feel depressed and hate on myself. Everytime I see my bad grades from school, I would often started to hate myself even more.  I always wanted to have friends, but I couldn't have one outside of the internet.

As of now when I wrote this post, the situation got worse. My exam had just ended, and the result wasn't very good. I don't know what will happen if my dad knows, but there is a possibility that he'll stop letting me do the things I like to do. Then I would get depressed forever. Even worse, my teacher said it is mandatory for him to know about my results.

Now, I am not saying that all I wanted to do is play video games, watch movies/anime etc. It's just that for now, it's the only thing I could do. I couldn't find a friend or someone who is ever nice to me. There seems to be absolutely no way out for me, no matter how much I wished that I could have many friends and end this depression forever. 

That's it. If anyone's willing to respond, thank you. 

EDIT: Off-topic, but can you use a custom profile pic on this forum? I'm new here.

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Re: Struggling with a bad life with no friends to get help from.

@StrikonX buddy I know exactly where you are coming from. 

Teenage years have some (very) rough patches. There is a lot of social politics, judgements and people trying to be 'cool' and so often this results in bullying and rumours.

 

I know how video games, movies and anime can provide an awesome escape from social pressures and the trials and tribulations of being 14!  I see nothing wrong with this - escaping and getting a mental 'break' or rest is super important and beneficial and I say go for it.

 

However, that life involves a bit of to-and-fro - sometimes we just have to do things we don't want to do.  Unfortunately, work (especially school work) is something everybody must do and it can't be avoided! My advice in this area is to pick a set of subjects that you are most passionate about (or hate the least!) and focus on those ones.  For me, this was english, maths and physics, for my brother it's maths and science.  I know how frustrating, annoying and angering bullying can be, but you are going to have to work.  Write down when you plan on working, follow it, and then reward yourself with cake and video games and more cake. 

 

Whilst your family do take your grades seriously and probably show anger when you under-perform, understand that they love you regardless of your marks and I think it would be a very good idea to talk to them about what is going on! They will be receptive, I have no doubt. (By the way, am I right in assuming that your parents pay for your video games and stuff? I think they deserve your best effort at school and that it is a reasonable request from them)

 

Finally, your school years set you up for the rest of your life.  Why allow a currently sucky situation to impact your future? Things really do get better and I encourage you to keep working for those future years.

 

Hope things get better and let us know dude

 

Ps. no idea how to customize my pick! Wish i could though...

 

Re: Struggling with a bad life with no friends to get help from.

@StrikonX  We're here for you buddy!  By the way, my brother wants you to know that friends over the internet can still provide mental and emotional support, and to keep on trying to make friends because eventually you will find someone with the same interests (and likely in the same situation) as you

Re: Struggling with a bad life with no friends to get help from.

Hi @StrikonX Smiley Happy

I know how it feels to be your age and think your life is always going to be like the way it is now. But positive changes are possible!

 

Yeah, it's annoying that negative feelings about friends can spread to absolutely every aspect of school life like your studies.

You do seem committed to school since you've talked about how it worries you that your grades aren't as high as you'd like. I think you can find at least one subject in school that you really enjoy and want to work hard in/are good at. You might then feel like you want to study rather than you have to. Maybe start by setting small goals and expand those as you go. You still have a lot of time to explore your strengths and find your passions - even adults are struggling with this so try not to be too hard on yourself Smiley Happy

Here's a link you might find helpful.

 

Also, don't hate yourself even if your grades aren't as high as you'd like. People are worth more than what they achieve at school and how many friends they have. As you appreciate yourself more, others may start to see that and you are likely to be more comfortable making new friends. I think it's important not to take it personally though when other students make fun of you. Oftentimes, these kind of habits people have come from their own insecurities and issues and has little to do with the person they're making fun of. 

 

Stay strong @StrikonX we're here for you Smiley Happy 

 

Re: Struggling with a bad life with no friends to get help from.

Hey @StrikonX - welcome to Reach Out!

 

Sorry to hear that you classmates talked about you behind your back. Sometimes people can pretty rude for no good reason, but you deserve to have friends who care about and respect you. We have a whole section filled with info about meeting new people and creating friendships. It's definitely worth a read! Lots of people love watching anime and playing video games, so you should be able to find some common ground when starting conversations.

 

Are you based in Australia? If you are, you can always call Kid's Helpline on 1800 55 1800 and have a chat to a counsellor if you start feeling overwhelmed or just want to hear a friendly voice!

 

By the way, to change your profile pic, click on the My Settings link (it's just under the orange search button at the top of the forum) then head to the Avatar tab and upload whatever you want!

Re: Struggling with a bad life with no friends to get help from.

Hello there. Thank you for all your replies, I appreciate it.

First of all, I do understand that life is full of work and I accept that. However, it's just that whenever I do my work from school, I would often feel depressed and reminded of my bad times. Yes, I've said that I escape this problem by doing whatever I like, but I've always wanted to make friends who have the same interests as me while also caring for our school work and about each other's personal problems.. Sadly, hardly anyone here is just like that. All I see is groups of friends who make immature sex jokes and don't care about their studies at all. They do play video games as well, but not the types that I play (or at least want to).

Also, lately I've never been doing about the things I like, but just searching for information about them only to be upset that I couldn't have any of those. I plan to be a collector of all sorts of things, mainly movies, anime and video games, but all I could do now is pirate them. In my country, people often prefer pirating movies/anime not just because they're cheaper, but authentic copies of movies/anime often get chopped down pretty badly because they're censored very badly. As for video games, very few of them are sold here. The only thing I could do is buy them from the internet, but for now I don't know anyone who is going to buy them for me since 14 years olds can't have credit cards. In the end all I could do is pirate them, but I do not have the motivation to do it. 

I am only good in one subject, and that is English. While my English wasn't perfect, it's still the subject that I am best at. As for the others, I suck at them. I don't feel like studying without making any friends first, but like I said before it seemed impossible.

EDIT: Off-topic again, but I don't see any button for me to upload my pics in the Avatar tab in My Settings.

Re: Struggling with a bad life with no friends to get help from.

@StrikonX - once you rise up a few more ranks you'll be able to customise your avatar.

Once you achieve the level it becomes available in My Settings > Avatar

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