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Struggling with life

Hey everyone,

 

I just come on here for some advice as im stuggling with alot of change in my life right now. Ive recently left school and i am working until i go back to college to study something else but i have never known what to do career wise. Along with that my worksplace is always full of drama and it can get stressful! Since leaving school ive notice my friendships with alot of people are getting tested too, including one of my bestest friends ever which im getting really upset about. Alot of people that i used to talk to have all changed because everyones going off and doing different things and im just not a fan of change anyway. I would say i have 4 friends and only one im close too but im finding it quite straining with her too but she has alot on  because she just dropped out of uni and started a full time job so we hardly speak now considering we used to have 3 hour long convos on the phone talking about random things, i can barely get a text back now. Im also planning on moving out which is a big stressor and even worse it is with this friend!

 

Alot if things are changing right now and im seriously struggling and i dont know what to do or make things easier for me and its getting me down! I would appreciate any advice or even if someone just read this. And if you did read it, thamk you for your time!

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Re: Struggling with life

Hey @Shambers, thank you so much for posting! Heart Things sound pretty overwhelming for you at the moment and it's really brave of you to stick up your hand to ask for support Heart Not the easiest thing!

From what you've written it seems like a lot of things in your life are going through a big change or are a bit shaky right now, which can be so draining and so hard to balance, no one could blame you for struggling right now! 

I was wondering if you'd feel comfortable reaching out to your best friend and having a chat about what's been going on and your worries about moving? Maybe the process of moving out and planning it will mean you get to spend some more time together and help verbalise some of the worries you're having? RO has some really awesome resources about things to consider when moving out here too Heart 

Sending lots of good vibes your way xx




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We're having a Getting Real chat to do with Dating Anxiety on Monday the 20th of January at 7:30pm AEDT! Smiley Very Happy Check it out here! Heart

Re: Struggling with life

Hi @Shambers good on you for jumping on here and getting some help Heart 
Now @ecla34 has already given you some awesome advice and support, especially the part about talking with the friend your moving in with about the planning process because I agree, it could be a great way to rekindle a bit and have something you can both be invested in together!

However, I just wanted to add in that its perfectly normal to feel like this. Going from school to the "real world" is a HUGE adjustment.. and it's also very normal (although disappointing and sad) to drift from your friends when you are all going through different phases and parts of your life. Sometimes not being in contact doesn't always been you've lost them or they no longer want to be your friend.. sometimes people are just very busy and caught up in their lives and then when they get a chance to see friends again, it can often feel even better, you have lots to talk about and catch up on. I have good friends that I only see like once every 2 months..and I don't really text or call much in-between this time because I am so busy but it doesn't mean I don't love or care about them any less.
As for moving out of home.. what a very exciting, nerve racking, stressful step in your life! I can totally understand why you must be struggling, especially with everything else going on for you at the moment! Change is scary, and I know it must feel all a bit much right now but moving out of home is an incredible experience, I have grown so much since I left home. The independency is awesome and it really is a chance for you to find out a bit more about yourself and how you fit into the world. However, also know that if things don't work out with this friends, it is okay to say no and back out of your decision, you have to happy and comfortable with who you are living with, and there will always be another opportunity Heart 

Sorry for the long reply... I hope you are feeling a bit better today. Do you have a self care routine to help you when you're stressed? We are here for you! Heart

Re: Struggling with life

Thank you for all your replies, @ecla34 and @Jane_Rose

 

I have realised that these feelings of change are natural, and so ive researched ways to cope with such change like focus on the positives and how even the worst outcome of that change will turn out ok on the end. Even though these changes like going to college and moving out are scary for me at the moment, i'm starting to look at them like a very exciting experience. All your advice has helped alot so i appreciate your replies!

 

For the self care routine for stress, i like running on my treadmill at home. I found that through my exams it helped me think things through and calm me down when things got too much so i do that almost every day!

 

 

Re: Struggling with life

@Shambers that's such wonderful self-reflection Heart i'm so glad you found your research helpful! keeping my fingers crossed for you that these big changes in your life go smoothly.

It really can be so difficult sometimes to handle change when we don't know what the outcome will be, can't it? Smiley Sad Heart 

I really like how you've been trying to re-frame these changes in a way that makes you excited, but at the same time you're definitely allowed to feel lots of different conflicting emotions about the situation, it's totally normal! 

I gotta say, i also super admire your self-discipline in running every day- so impressive!




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We're having a Getting Real chat to do with Dating Anxiety on Monday the 20th of January at 7:30pm AEDT! Smiley Very Happy Check it out here! Heart