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Struggling

Tonight's hard... I'm on edge and stressed about tomorrow. It'll be my birthday and my husband organised a low key get together with some friends... Except I don't really have friends. It's two couples in our small town who are nice/ a similar age. He's befriended the guys, I'm still friendly-acquaintances with them all and feel stressed out talking to them. I'm worried there'll be judgement (something like 'really? We're your pick to spend time with on your birthday? I mean we barely know you but sure...'). I wish I had closer friends but it's hard.

 

And I think I'll end up video chatting or having multiple phone calls with family which I'm not looking forward to.

 

And I'm stressed by preparations for the thing tomorrow. I've gotta clean the car and find and put a bunch of stuff in it and I had to shop and I've got some food prep I need to do.

 

And my husband's recovering from some minor surgery and also is emotionally pretty low because of that and wondering if the surgery was the right decision and I'm not really sure how to best be supportive so that's upsetting.

 

That's tonight, it's all just hitting me and making me shut down and cry. And in general I'm worried I'm heading into a difficult time again with bigger picture stuff 🙁

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Re: Struggling

@hellofriend  I am sorry you are having such a stressful time. Birthdays can be super stressful and overwhelming do you think you can set aside a time tomorrow evening to take some time for self care or relaxation so that you don’t have to end the day feeling so stressed, or would making a list of things you need to do help to give you a clearer idea and mabye help you finish things? Idk lists can make it worse if it ends up super big. Would writing down your feelings here help? 

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Re: Struggling

Hello @hellofriend, I am sorry to hear that you were feeling stressed last night and that it was hard for you. It sounds like you have a lot of prep that you need to do today. I hope that you are able to still find some time to enjoy your birthday. Whether that is enjoying some cake or having a time-out, I hope it helps.

 

It sounds like your husband surgery has made a change to both your life and his (even if it is just until he recovers). You mentioned that you are not sure how to best support him and that this is making you upset. Have you had a chance to discuss this with him? You may find it helpful letting him know that you have tried to help, but you are not completely sure how to best help. Would you also feel comfortable discussing with your partner how you are feeling worried about the bigger picture?

 

I hope you have a great birthday! Cat Tongue

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Re: Struggling

Thanks guys ☺️

 

@Eden1717 I read your post yesterday evening and really appreciated it. I felt pretty overwhelmed and crashed out but it was just really nice hearing something supportive so thank you.

 

Thanks @TOM-RO! we've got pretty open communication about it all so that's good.

 

Today ended up being mostly really nice with just a few (short) overwhelmed sections

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Re: Struggling

@hellofriend  I am glad your birthday ended up going well.