Struggling 😢

[Agenderandproudofit]

I've been recently out of a mental institution due to another suicide attempt, i'm all good now currently on meds but since i got out i lost the last of my friends as my attempt pissed them off that much that they don't want anything to do with me anymore which hurt even today. The only people i have closest to mates are from my cricket  team who are very social and are drinkers, everytime i'm with them i use a different personality and drink with em sometimes heavily just so i can fit in with em. At the end of the day i'm not happy with being someone completely different instead of being myself which my teammates will find any opportunity to target me, i don't have anyone in my life to talk to about my problems or similar which makes me really upset 😢 i wish that someone could just give me a big hug and tell me positive things such as "you're an amazing human being" etc

[Macaria]

Hi @Agenderandproundofit, I am so sorry about what you have been through. Have you tried self-harming today and if yes, did you deal with your wounds appropriately? And have you talked to your psychologist or counsellor about the suicidal attempts?
And definitely, you are brave and amazing! You have passed through and overcome so many things that people can't tolerate, I'm sooo proud of you! And I think you can definitely finding someone to talk with in the forum, we are here and support you! (Give you a lot of love)

[Agenderandproudofit]

@Macaria I haven't done any self harm for at least a month just before i went into the institution my psychiatrist knew since the hospital told him, thank you for getting back to me and for your support ❤

[James99]

Hey @Agenderandproudofit hope you are feeling okay today. It sounds like you've been through a lot of difficult situations as a result of your health. I think by speaking up and talking about your experiences you've demonstrated a lot of courage and that's something you should be really proud of . I think for a lot of people it can be very hard to 'fit it', and I imagine that your experiences with mental health might make this a bit harder. Do you think there might be situations where you and your cricket team could engage in an activity that you are more comfortable with?

We will always be here for you if you need an outlet for problems that you may be having. I might also suggest considering seeking professional mental health help as well (if you're not already) and seeing if that has a positive impact on the issues you are facing. 

[Claire-RO]

Hey @Agenderandproudofit 

Super sorry to hear about your time with mates and what you have been struggling! It sucks when you are around a crew that don't let you be yourself and when you feel like you have to drink to fit in. I have had that a lot and it meant i struggled a bit with alcohol a few years ago because I wasn't being myself, struggling with being queer and non binary. Hold on to who you are as who you are is amazing! 

[Emlo]

@Agenderandproudofit Hello lovely I hope you are doing better.

First and foremost let me give you the biggest hug I can through the computer and tell you that I am so very glad you are still here. You are doing fabulously.

It can be really hard to fit in and find people you feel comfortable with, I'm sorry you haven't found that yet with this group of people. Finding yourself can be really challenging, sounds like you are sporty... maybe try out another sport and meet people through that? 

Find some activities that feel authentically you 

I wish you all the very best  

[A_Friend]

First of all I'm so proud of you for reaching out and talking about your experience. 

Something that you may find helpful is finding activities that you can meet people and be yourself around. Another thing that could help is taking some time to accept you are for yourself and creating a support or mantra if you find yourself in a situation where you can't be yourself. It also so great to hear that you are speaking with a professional about what your going through and I hope that you find something helpful and feel better soon.

[wanderingwasp]

Hey! It sounds like a tough situation and I get how important friends are and it sucks that your friends have left you at a time when you really need them. 

I have a close friend who struggles with similar issues. We actually met because we were both in a state where we really needed new, consistent and loyal friends. 

(sending huge huge huge virtual hugs your way). Sounds like life is getting a bit tiring. (also sending virtual chocolates, sodas and burritos) haha idk if you look those foods but you get the point. Please treat yourself with some good food, sunshine and funny videos.

From personal experience, what helps me is volunteering. So I might sign myself up for some low effort volunteering at school or in the community, which gets me meeting new people and feeling good about myself. Hope you're feeling better <3

[Macaria]

@Agenderandproudofit, I am glad that you are not doing any self harm (hug). Just wanna ask are you feeling better now? Can you access any other supports in daily life and having someone to talk with now? like your parents?

[Agenderandproudofit]

@Macaria I'm better now, i don't have any support at the moment even no friends my relationship with my family's horrible i haven't talked to them for a while. Had a psychologist/psychiatrist for a year til now since i never hear from em anymore regarding appointments.