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Re: TW Blocking out everything to get by

I think resting and watching movies is a good idea if you're not feeling too well physically @scared01 . And i think you're right. She doesn't understand because she has such a close bond with him compared to me. Smiley Sad i don't want to have a close bond with him. I tried to make things better between us and i worked on my communication skills and everything because i thought all the arguments and disagreements between us were my fault. I thought when i got hurt and made to feel guilty that it was somehow my fault and that I was doing the wrong thing and being young and immature...parents know best right? Well that isn't true and i get emotionally abused as a result and I am sick of it. I deserve to be treated better.  I can only do so much but getting physically hurt and trapped is not okay dammit. And i hate it because my sibling was there when this particular thing happened . It baffles me that she could possibly think that i feel okay and want to spend time around him :/ 

Re: TW Blocking out everything to get by

Maybe if you try to mend your relationship again... It seems to me, that he's trying to mend a broken bond. But that's just me.

Re: TW Blocking out everything to get by

I really appreciate that you value the fact that I am a teacher @xXLexi_Lou122Xx . It's one of the reasons why I wanted to become a teacher is to be a positive role model to young people and help and motivate and inspire kids like the teachers have in my own life. School always felt like a safe place for me...and escape from home. I could handle the drama of high school (mostly) until it got too much sometimes. As I've said before - teenagers can be cruel..especially around the 13 / 14 and 15 year old age group. I can tell you though that as teenagers get older they do get a bit more mature and they don't focus so much om the petty stuff. Of course there will always be the occassional person at school who behaves like a dick. My advice would be to find a safe spot at school to retreat to. For me that was the library or hanging out around the teacher staff rooms and asking for help with school work and getting involved with student leadership. Just anything to take my mind off home and drama. Sports was another huge outlet and books too. I know this bully is really getting to you, but you truly are so much more than the way he is treating you. There is hope. <3 

Re: TW Blocking out everything to get by

It is difficult to tell in truth @xXLexi_Lou122Xx . Our relationship bond has been broken before worse than now and it took ages to get to a point where we could be in the same room with each other without getting into an argument. But right now I am not in a state of mind to allow him any path to a relationship...not when he has broken my trust and abused me time and time again without any sense of remorse or recognition that he has done something to hurt me. And that in itself doesn't seem like a pathway that is worth my time and energy. It feels so one sided and I am better off without him...as harsh as that sounds. But it is how I feel..for now at least. 

Re: TW Blocking out everything to get by

im sorry so much has happened to you @mspaceK
sometimes if its not us that its physically happened to its hard to understand. for example if your sister was hurt the way you were she would feel the same too. its still hard though esp when they dont understand and brush it off. its ok that you dont want a bond with him anymore, its good that you can still be in the same house sometimes though.
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: TW Blocking out everything to get by

i value you as a teacher too @mspaceK from what i know of you through here you are an amazing teacher even when you dont think you are
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: TW Blocking out everything to get by

Thank you @scared01 . Sometimes it is hard to believe that within myself but I try and that's the main thing. I feel like I'm im the right place when I'm talking to kids and teaching them things, both young and older. I have more experience with primary school kids in truth but I am qualified to teach both. And if I ever get a full time or part time job at a high school or even primary school, I want to be a part of the well being team. I don't want kids to feel alone and I want to be someone they can trust for support...especially if it is the only support they are getting. The other thing I really like is writing and stories. 

Re: TW Blocking out everything to get by

that sounds amazing @mspaceK that would be a great thing to be apart of
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: TW Blocking out everything to get by

I think so too @scared01 . I'm just playing my ps4 now on Crash Bandicoot. Trying to get through a really tough level. 

Re: TW Blocking out everything to get by

That really sucks that your bond has been broken really bad before. Sorry I asked.

Good luck with that tough level!