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Re: TW: Checking in

Thanks @Taylor-RO Heart
I sent her an email asking if she could remind me to call her during her next shift when she starts.. I feel bad for not talking to her in a while. I don’t know why I haven’t, I’ve really needed support but It’s getting hard to talk to people now. Just saying my problems out loud is so hard. It’s like I panic when I talk about myself, I just feel so much pressure and feel like I have to be cautious of how much I share Smiley Sad I want someone who I can talk to about everything and no matter what I share, they won’t be required to tell anyone. Why is that so much to ask for? Smiley Sad I know it’s to make sure someone is safe but it’s stopping me from getting help and is making me less safe.

Gymnastics was the only thing that after the shittest day filled with thoughts of suicide and lots of tears, could make that day end with a laugh and genuine happiness. I’m actually not sure if I’m going to return to the gym after those messages I got regarding my weight even though I’m severely underweight. I’m loosing track of hope Smiley Sad recovery just keeps getting further away.

My mum knows about me feeling unwell because I was sitting with her last night after pop went to bed and she was really worried.. even if it’s not Coronavirus, it could still get my pop sick and increase his risk even more. He has a pace maker (his heart is really weak) and he’s had a few strokes recently and a few other medical things happen to him in the past which makes him more likely to get it and not recover. He’s really sad about it. I hate seeing my pop sad. He’s got tears in his eyes every time I look at him and my heart breaks Smiley Sad
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Re: TW: Checking in

@Taylor-RO I have a question.. firstly I do not need a welfare check. I am safe. I’m just curious
So can you request a welfare check for yourself? And if someone does have a welfare check does it like get recoded or does anyone else have to be aware? And also if you just call and ask for someone to come check on you because your in a lot of distress but say it’s late at night, do the police have to tell your parents if they’re home?
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Re: TW: Checking in

@Ronan-RO hey are you actually logged in?
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Re: TW: Checking in

@Bananatime04  Who would you theoretically be asking for a welfare check? You can call the CATT/Acess team and talk to them and if they think you need to be seen they can come and see you at your house but they would need to talk to your parents I they were home and if you are a minor they have to talk to your parents, they are usually an adult service but idk they can also direct you to the appropriate services but a welafare check from police or ambulance is usually when someone else call for you.... idk if that answers any of your questions but it can really depend generally though anytime services talk to a minor they have to tell their parents or responsible guardians. 

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Re: TW: Checking in

Hey @Bananatime04 ,

 

Yes, as @Eden1717 helpfully said, you could call the CATT team to come and do a welfare check on you.  However they would ask to speak to your parents/responsible guardians.  The welfare check will be recorded by the CATT upon checking as they have a duty of care towards you.  Of course, you should call 000 if you're really feeling unsafe.  Does that answer your question? Heart

 

 

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Re: TW: Checking in

Hey @Bananatime04 ,

 

It's a tough one.  You want to be able to tell someone everything, but when you speak to a mental health professional, some things you say may trigger a need for them to disclose.  That is because they have a duty of care towards you.  People get into the mental health profession because they care about others and their welfare, hence their desire to want to ensure your safety.  You mentioned panicking when you talk about yourself.  Have you tried disclosing some things that doesn't cause you to panic?  Kind of like a gradual disclosure in a step-by-step process?  

 

I can empathise with your gymnastics dilemma.  I know how important that is to you and it sucks that it has closed down Smiley Sad.  Are you able to keep in touch with any of your crew via zoom or Skype?  Have the coaches provided you with some exercises you can do at home?  My soccer season has stopped so I'm just trying to workout at home.  It's not ideal but better than nothing and certainly I feel better afterwards.

 

I'm really sorry to read about your pop.  It's a really, really stressful time for the world currently, and we all worry about our loved ones, this is normal.  What we can do is show them how much we care. Heart  What's more, I see how supportive and caring you are in this community.  Your heart is huge and some of your insights are super impressive Heart.

 

I hope you get a chance to speak to your KHL counsellor as it sounds like you have a great r/ship.  You mentioned being very underweight which I'm sorry to read.  Have you tried the Butterfly foundation before? If you haven't, you can reach them on 1800 334 67.  

 

We are all here for you Heart

 

 

 

 

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Re: TW: Checking in

Thank you @Eden1717 Heart
Well.. I just wanted to know because I’ve had a few people ask me if they would like to send Someone for a welfare check on me but I didn’t know what the consequences were. I know I’m gonna be struggling over the next few months so I was just checking what would happen if someone actually did it or if I done it myself (if I can).
Thank you for your reply.. it was really helpful!
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Re: TW: Checking in

Thank you so so much @Ronan-RO Heart
I’m not exactly sure what you mean by “ Have you tried disclosing some things that doesn't cause you to panic? Kind of like a gradual disclosure in a step-by-step process? ” I’m sorry, would you be able to explain this to me and tell me how I can do this? Sorry

We are having a weekly zoom FaceTime every Friday to complete our conditioning together but I’m super nervous. I absolutely hate FaceTiming people and calling people because it causes so much anxiety for me Smiley Sad we have loads of programs to do daily but they’re really hard and it’s not as enjoyable, not being able to do proper floor, bars or beam skills Smiley Sad I miss it

I have tried the butterfly foundation in the past, might help to contact them again Smiley Happy thank you Heart
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Re: TW: Checking in

Hey @Bananatime04 ,

 

I think it can feel anxious opening up to someone.  It's like meeting someone for the first time, you might disclose a wee bit about yourself, especially the stuff about you that isn't so anxiety provoking, such as a favourite TV show or something.  Then as you gain trust you open up a bit more about yourself, something that's more personal than a favourite TV show, but not too personal as to cause a lot of anxiety.  Then hopefully you can build a r/ship to be able to open up, trust, and feel safe to trust them.  That's what I meant by step-by-step.  Does that make sense?

 

trust GIF

 

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Re: TW: Checking in

Thank you @Ronan-RO Heart that’s a bit like how I built my trust for my English teacher. At first I opened up about my anxiety in a get to know you thing we done on the first day. Because obviously I’m English we have presentations to do and reading in front of the class but my anxiety makes that super hard to a very extreme extent. I did it very briefly to see how she would deal with that knowledge if she even cared and she was so supportive.. her advice is so good Smiley Happy now I trust her with everything. Well, overtime I trusted her with more and more and now I trust her with anything Smiley Happy
It’s just my anxiety that makes it hard to open up, it’s not trust. It’s fear of messing up, fear of judgement, fear of my information being shared with someone else and not knowing how to express what I’m going through without having a while to plan how to reply. My teacher knows this so she doesn’t mind that I have to take probably like 30 seconds to reply to a question sometimes and it’s perfectly okay with her Smiley Happy

Thank you Heart