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TW: Checking in

Hey @Janine-RO! Smiley Happy
Today has been pretty tough actually but I spoke to my new English teacher about my parents moving and how that might affect my school work and she was so supportive. I have been so stressed today! The work load for year 10 at my school is so much and I’m falling behind already. I’m failing. All day I’ve felt on the verge of a panic attack and all this stress is adding to why I want to die. I’m not mentally stable enough to have the ability to keep up with all of this but no one understands and it’s getting worse 😣
I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I’m being pushed outside my limits. I have no time with gymnastics and work to catch up on school. Every class I had today I was shaking so badly and I was just panicking so bad. I don’t know how long I can deal with this 😣 it only gets harder

Sorry for my little vent.. how are you going today? Heart

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Re: Chit Chat

Hi @Bananatime04

 

I'm sorry that it's been a tough day, but that's brilliant that you opened up to your new teacher about what's going on for you, it can take a lot of courage to let people know that life is a bit hard and I really admire you for doing that Smiley Happy Hopefully now that they know that you have a lot going on at home, she may also be able to help you out with extra time, if you need it? It can definitely be a big adjustment getting back into study after the long summer break anyway, let alone when you've had a lot of other stuff to deal with. 

 

I hear that you're struggling - I think you said that you'll be seeing your counsellor soon, is that right? Do you feel comfortable talking to her about these thoughts? It could be a good idea to make a safety plan with her, if that's something you haven't done already - we really care about you, and your safety is the most important thing Heart I'm glad that you're able to vent here too Smiley Happy I'm well thank you, huge storms in Sydney over the weekend but it's a lot calmer today thankfully Smiley Happy

 

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Re: Chit Chat

Thank you so much @Janine-RO! Heart I really admire you’re support that you offer here! ReachOut Really hit the jackpot!

I don’t really like asking for extra time as that builds up even more work. I’ll probably end up submitting things that I haven’t even been able to complete to my best ability but it’s fine.

Um.. well remember I was supposed to meet my new psychologist and psychiatrist this month? Yea.. last night I made my mum cancel them. I was supposed to meet them tomorrow but I just was so sad last night I just can’t 😩 I’m sorry for being such a disappointment

I saw the school counsellor last week, that wasn’t helpful. Ugh I hate seeing her. She just asks questions and makes me tell her what’s going on but never offers advice or things that help my situation. I’m not going back. I’m currently just having ReachOut as my support.. and occasionally kids helpline. I’ve really dug myself a huge hole, idk if I can get out this time 😔

I’m glad it’s calmed down today!

Thanks again for everything you give me and the community Heart you too @Jess1-RO!
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Re: Chit Chat

Awwww, thank you so much for your kind words @Bananatime04 , it really means a lot Heart Heart 

 

How did your mum feel about cancelling the new psychologist and psychiatrist? I know that it can be really draining and exhausting having to go back through your story and build a relationship with a new mental health professional, but I also hear that you're feeling really sad and distressed sometimes.

 

You always give such wonderful, insightful, and thoughtful advice to other members here - I hope that you can be just as compassionate towards yourself. You are worthy of, and deserve ,help Heart 

 

 

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Re: Chit Chat

Hey @Janine-RO Smiley Happy sorry I haven’t replied for so long! I was at training..

I honestly don’t think I’ll be able to go with no professional face to face support for much longer but it’s done now and I’ll have to wait another 4 months if I wanna do it. It’s relieved a lot of stress, not having to open up to basically a stranger.. but it’s made me sad that I’m going to have no one in person. I know I’ve got you guys but this is where my worries come in.. I know I’m gonna be struggling a lot over the next month or two and the fact that I’ve got no other support anymore, I don’t want the same thing to happen. I get so distressed and I begin to talk about things I’d usually just keep for my professional appointments without knowing. I don’t wanna be a distress to other users when I get to my lowest. I feel like I deserve to die honestly Smiley Sad

Thank you Heart
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Re: Chit Chat

Hi @Bananatime04 , 

 

You absolutely do not deserve to die, and I'm so sorry that you are experiencing those feelings. 

 

We are really glad that you're a part of this community, and we are always here to support you, but we're not a clinical service, and we can't provide one to one support. We care about you and all of our users, and it does sound like professional supports would be really beneficial for you at the moment - as you say, you're going to have a lot to deal with in the next month or so. 

 

Do you think you might be able to look at getting professional help to assist you through this time? 

 

I can really empathise with how hard it can be to start up a relationship with a new mental health professional, but I know that for me personally in the past when I've been through tough times, it's really helped a lot. 

 

You say your mum only called yesterday to cancel, have I got that right? Do you think she would be able to contact them again, to see if you can get back in to see them?  You definitely wouldn't be the first person to get cold feet, and they may be able to squeeze you in again.

 

You are worthy, and deserving, of help Heart Heart 

 

 

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Re: Chit Chat

Thanks @Janine-RO Heart
Today I got through a lot of homework so I feel a little less stressed Smiley Happy still have a bit more though..

I don’t think that it’s possible because the place I was going is a REALLY busy place and was so hard to get started with them.. considering it took 4 months for me to Get a chance to meet them after my referral, I would hate to know the time I’d have between sessions. I doubt that would help me as I find on going, frequent support helpful. I know ReachOut isn’t a counselling service but the fact that I can talk to people going through the same things, read support you guys offer other users and see all the love here, really really makes me feel so less lonely and helps me a lot. It’s ok, I will be fine. I have my khl counsellor. If worst comes to worst then.. there’s just nothing I can do about it and that’s fine. Please don’t worry about me.

Thank you so much for your uplifting words Heart
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TW: Checking in

Oh Smiley Sad a new thread.. sorry
Um why are they still called chit chat?

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Re: TW: Checking in

Hi @Bananatime04 

 

We have just moved your posts to here so you have the space to talk this through more with the community Heart 

 

The thread name can get confused when we move threads, so I have just renamed my response here, when you reply to it all new posts on this thread should have the new name too

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Re: TW: Checking in

Ok thanks @Jess1-RO Heart
I don’t know why but sometimes I just feel guilty having my own thread Smiley Sad I don’t deserve my own space