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TW: Do I Have An ED?

Currently I have a really low weight and it's really bad and I know I need to eat more but I just can't. I don't think I look fat or anything but I feel so bloated and I don't like eating. Does this mean I have an ED? I know it can't be anorexia because I can tell I look too skinny but despite that I just find it hard to eat more than what I usually do, and if that regular pattern is ruined i feel really low for ages. I'm pretty obsessive with a lot of different "rituals" in my life, like I have to be sleeping on my left side, with no noise or light, after going to the bathroom once, with a pikachu soft toy, or I can't sleep. Another example is my strict afternoon schedule that makes me feel ill if I break it, and when I clean I can't leave any marks behind, and it takes hours to vacuum a single small room. Does this just mean my perfectionist personality is to blame and I don't actually have an ED? I'm so confused.

Re: Do I Have An ED?

Hi @Blurryphaced
I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this Smiley Sad
Unfortunately we're not professionals here on RO so we're unable to give medical advice and such.
In saying that would seeing a GP or professional be an option for you?
Would you say that these 'rituals' are impeding in your life in a negative way?
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I'm also going to tag a few other people for extra support @Taylor-RO @gina-RO

Re: Do I Have An ED?

@missep I suppose if they are the root cause for my weight loss, then yes. I also find myself quite stressed due to my obsession with following my schedule precisely that consists of non stop work. I've contacted a GP, but that's merely for my physical health.

Thank you for your response Smiley Happy

Re: Do I Have An ED?

Hey @Blurryphaced, i'm so sorry to hear what you're experiencing right now, it sounds really painful and overwhelming Smiley Sad Having things like eating or rituals that you feel the need to perform constantly weigh on you is so hard, and it can feel so scary and confusing.
I know it's difficult, but would you feel able to reach out to anyone in your life for support about the way you've been feeling? Whether or not you have an ED, you deserve support <3 

The Butterfly Foundation has lots of resources for getting support for EDs, they might be worth having a look at! Kids Helpline is also a really good resource if you need extra support Smiley Happy

Here to listen xx

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Re: Do I Have An ED?

I see @Blurryphaced
Would you ever consider seeing a psychologist or a counsellor?
@ecla34 mentioned the Butterfly Foundation which a lot of people have found to be helpful.
I can imagine that following a schedule like that can be really stressful Smiley Sad
On another note you mentioned having a Pikachu soft toy? That's so cute! Do you like Pokemon then?
Here for you Heart