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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[R@Tiny_leaf Maybe, I'm not sure.

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[R] Also forgot to mention another scary experience that happened today. Member #54, Dr. Basically, I was thinking about potentially having DID/OSDD, then he appeared, took over the body, and tried to repeatedly deny we could have DID or OSDD and that we're even a system in the first place. He also tried to convince himself he was the host. I had some amnesia when I switched back in, but I was able to remember basic details of what happened. Still freaked me out for about the next hour.

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

Oh wow Smiley Sad I imagine that would be pretty scary.

 

How are you feeling this morning? Still a bit shaken or?

 

 

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[R@Maddy-RO Yeah, I'm still a bit shaken.

 

I'm not in a great mood today. I'm feeling suicidal at the moment, but I'm safe for now. I kind of feel like I don't want to be in this system anymore. I just can't deal with the possibility of having a disorder, all the trauma stuff, the doubt, feeling like if we really had a disorder or if we really had trauma it would be so much worse than this, and feeling like our brain could be faking all of it. And then there's the stuff about not being the same person as the original host (because it's also been stressful to have two people I thought were past selves wake up and say they're separate (En and N), and to have 3 people split off of me from stress this year (Du, Iv and Io)). I just want it to end. I'm really scared of everything. I just want it to stop. I can't deal with this anymore.

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

Aww @SomeoneNADJS Smiley Sad 

 

- You and other system mates have been doing so incredibly well at juggling everything you have. I can see why you're feeling like you just want a break from it all. I'm glad to hear you're safe but in saying that I can sense you are really hurting right now. 

 

I am just catching up on what has been happening for you and I just wanted to say how genuinely proud I am of you for telling your mum about being a system. That is such a big step and one that I know you have been thinking about for a long time. I'm so happy to hear your mum is accepting of you all. Do you feel comfortable telling mum how you're feeling today? 

 

We're here for each system mate and hope to hear from you soon R

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[T@Bre-RO I just switched in randomly a couple of minutes ago. Yeah, poor R has a lot on her plate, and so do a lot of others in our system (luckily I haven't had to deal with as much pain as they have).

 

If R's not feeling up to it, I might be able to tell her. I'll ask first, of course.

 

Thank you Smiley Happy

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

Hello T, it is great to hear that you are open to speaking to your mother about how you are feeling. It sounds like you are care a lot about R. I hope that R and the others are feeling a bit better. 

 

I hope that you have had a good day so far today Smiley Happy

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[CpR's feeling a bit better today @TOM-RO. We're blending a bit at the moment but hopefully we'll be alright.

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

Hello Cp, I am glad to hear that R is feeling a bit better today Smiley Happy Sorry for being a bit naive, but would you mind explaining to me a bit about what you mean when you say you are blending at the moment?

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[R@TOM-RO Blending is when it’s hard to tell where one person starts and the other ends. It’s a bit of a weird experience.

 

I just found out about imitative DID/OSDD. Apparently it’s possible for one to be mistaken about having either disorder and their brain can somehow make some symptoms occur. I don’t know if I should hope that’s what’s happening with us though. I don’t really like the idea of thinking we have a disorder or thinking our brain is subconsciously faking one. Both options suck.