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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

Hello R, thank you for telling me about blending. I can understand when you say that it is a weird experience, that sounds as though it could get confusing at times. It sounds like finding out about imitative DID/OSDD has lead to some deep thinking. Is this something that you would feel comfortable telling someone in your support system about (such as your mum)? Heart

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[O@TOM-RO Yeah, apparently it can be confusing. Luckily I haven't personally experienced it myself yet (but I'm not very active in our system).

 

I'm not sure how comfortable R would be with that. I remember this morning Ms woke up and nearly had the body in tears because they thought R didn't believe what they went through and that R thought our brain was faking DID/OSDD. R's one of the two people in our system Ms trusts, so I think that really hurt them.

 

I personally don't know much of what's happening and I'm not very involved with the system at the moment. The stuff I think R read about imitative DID or OSDD related to mistaking symptoms of one disorder (such as BPD) as being DID/OSDD. I highly doubt we have BPD. I think R's still trying to find any explanation for what's happening other than having a disorder.

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[Ma] Okay, I'm feeling really weird now. Probably dissociation. And now there's two of me. The second one has called herself An. I think she might have split from me. Now I'm getting a headache. This morning has been very unproductive and I don't know what to do to stop it.

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

Hi @SomeoneNADJS, that sounds like a really tricky situation to be in. Do you think you would be able to let someone in person know about what is going on at the moment? Whether it is your Mum or a service like Kids Helpline? I am saying this as it seems like what you are going through would be quite distressing Heart It might help to have more hands on and professional support during a time like that.
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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[R] I can't remember when, but at some point Ma switched out and both her and An went inactive. I told our mum Ma might have split and that we're up to 57 members. Only problem with KHL is a lot of us are worried we'll just be told to wait for the counsellor we normally talk to. That's kind of been a barrier for me trying to get help too.

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[Ms] I don't know if R believes me anymore. I thought I could trust her, but she thinks our brain might be subconsciously faking DID or OSDD, and that I didn't really go through that trauma. I did. I want the memories to go away. They follow me around all the time and then I get flashbacks. I only have one person I trust now, but she's not awake (Co). I feel so alone.

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

Hey @SomeoneNADJS, it sounds like you've had really tough time at the moment. I am so sorry to hear that you aren't feeling believed or that you can trust anyone. How did you go with the rest of your day?

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[R@Andrea-RO Yeah. The rest of the day went okay after I switched in, other than right before I think Ms got more flashbacks.

 

I'm feeling bad about myself because Ch won't talk to me after she had to stop me from doing something dangerous to the body, and Ms I feel is misinterpreting what I mean. I just want any explanation other than somehow having DID or OSDD. I still believe Ms went through that stuff, but I don't want to believe we partially came from trauma.

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

@SomeoneNADJS just so I understand sorry..

You agree that Ms went through trauma, but you don't think that's why you're a system?

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[R@Tiny_leaf I don't even know anymore. I guess I'm contradicting myself. Now I see what Ms meant.