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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

@SomeoneNADJS yeah..

My mum was shocked when she found out.

 

Have you ever seen a trauma focused therapist/ psychologist?

 

And would you like to talk through some ideas that might help cope with things like flashbacks?

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[R@Tiny_leaf We haven't, unless our current psychologist counts. Apparently she's had experience with trauma patients.

 

Yes please, I think that would be helpful.

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

With flashbacks, one thing that helps me is doing something that sorta "over-rides" what's going on in my brain with something else.

Like Tetris helps because it uses the same part of the brain as flashbacks. (There's a study on it somewhere)

 

Another is grounding excersizes.

 

One that I've heard of that works is telling yourself your name, age, where you are, and that you're safe. The idea is it brings your mind back to the present. 

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[R@Tiny_leaf I guess we could try distractions, but it's a bit difficult when they make our body flinch and our eyes close. Maybe we should find that old Tetris game En used to play on our DS.

 

Grounding exercises don't seem to be very effective either. We can't get ourselves out of that feeling of being unsafe and it's hard to focus on what's going on around us.

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

@SomeoneNADJS  Hey R, it sounds like digging up that old Tetris game could be worth a try - how are you feeling today? 

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[R@Janine-RO Today's been pretty bad. We've been unable to get much work done today because even though W was meant to be working, I kept switching in by accident and having panic attacks and flashbacks and getting really suicidal.

 

Our mum said some stuff about En being more polite when they were the host and kept telling me I was lying when I told her how much intent I had to commit suicide, which didn't help the situation. She also said we need to trust her more and that she feels bad because she feels like she didn't have all of the facts when she consented to let us start HRT (I think that was mainly because En and N are separate from me, but to be fair, we didn't know that at the time either).

 

Anyway, things have calmed down a bit now. I think we've had one new arrival today, which means we've had 21 new members so far this month, which is how many we had last month too. I wish this would slow down or stop soon.

 

There were some conversations about our system online by systems we're friends with who think we're non-traumagenic and thought the idea our brain was creating new people to fill certain roles was wrong (even though a lot of us knew what sort of role they had as soon as they showed up) and that new people appearing was all caused by thinking it was going to happen. W got a bit upset about this, and when I switched in and he switched out, I got a bit of amnesia and my memories of what had just happened were really fuzzy. Not sure why that happened.

 

There was also discussion that eventually our system would get too big and people would need to go dormant. We hope that won't happen, as quite a few of us have just come out of dormancy (such as CMsCa, and maybe CrVi and W). We're trying to figure something out with that.

 

Because we're struggling with school work so much, our mum's been asking me if we should quit school. I don't want to have to drop out. We're also going to try to have more frequent psychologist appointments because I think we need them.

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

That sounds like an incredibly heavy set of things to have to think about and process @SomeoneNADJS. Have you had a chance to sit down and think through some of the things that have been troubling you tonight? Is there anything we can do to help?

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[R] It is @Andrea-RO. I've chatted a bit with our Kids Helpline counsellor so far tonight, and we're going to keep talking about it tomorrow because we didn't get enough time. I'm not sure if any of you can help.

 

I'm still a bit upset that our mum said En used to be more polite than I am. When he was the host, he didn't have all of this stress and everything to deal with. I don't think he'd be able to handle it if he were to take over hosting again, and I'm barely surviving doing it at the moment. But I was worried before we told our mum we were plural that she'd prefer En over me, and now I think it might be a bit true, idk.

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

Hey @SomeoneNADJS 

 

That would feel super tough when it feels like your mum says things like that, you are all doing the best you can and from I can tell doing a really good job! Could you let your mum know how it makes you all feel when she makes comments like that? Are you going to be speaking to KHL counselor again today?

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[R] Hi @Claire-RO I'm not sure I feel confident enough to talk about that. I might get someone else to say something if it happens again. And good thing you reminded me about Kids Helpline, I'm supposed to be on and chatting in 20 minutes.