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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

Hello R, I am sorry to hear that some of your system mates feel as though you are faking. It must feel really confusing at times to have these different opinions. Have you had a chance to bring this up with your psychologist? I hope that things get a bit easier for you soon Heart

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[R] Thank you @Sophia-RO. I've talked about worrying about it all being fake before, but we haven't really done anything to determine whether that's the case or not, other than letting some other professionals we're seeing know. Maybe they'll be able to help.

 

I'm really regretting telling our mum we're plural because I just want to be able to take it all back and go back to hiding. I feel like our trauma's not bad enough because our mum thought if we had DID/OSDD it would've come from extreme neglect or sexual abuse, and I just feel awful because I think she's right. She also asked if I agreed with her that we didn't sound like a trauma system when she doesn't know much about what's happening with us because I'm too scared to tell her. Like, she thinks we don't get amnesia, for example, but it's still scary when we have partial amnesia when someone new appears. Lots of greyouts, just not blackouts.

 

I'm really scared about seeing the other professionals we normally see too because I have no idea how they'll react. I don't feel safe now and I really want to die and Vi was here before but now he's gone and I have to get work done and I don't know what to do.

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

Hey @SomeoneNADJS,

 

I'm really concerned about your safety right now, particularly as you've mentioned that you're feeling suicidal. It's really important for you to seek some immediate crisis support right now, would you be able to contact Kids Helpline or go get your mum for support right now? There are some things that you mentioned in your post that I think will be great to discuss with the community, but it's really important that you're in a safe place first Heart

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[R@Andrea-RO I don't feel comfortable going to our mum now and I know KHL is probably just going to turn me away. I probably can't do anything to hurt myself anyway because I'm too scared to.

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

Hey @SomeoneNADJS, I am so sorry to hear how much you're struggling right now, and that you don't feel comfortable turning to your normal supports. Do you know what would help right now?

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[R] I'm not really sure.

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

Hey @SomeoneNADJS 

 

Just checking in and seeing how  you are currently? Just wondering if you have found something that has been helpful in coping today? Smiley Happy

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[R@TOM-RO Not really. Just kind of had to wait it out.

 

Not feeling great now because we made it to 100 members. I never thought we’d get here. I feel awful about it. I wish we could find a way to stop this. No one seems to know how though. We just have to suffer with it it seems.

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

Hi @SomeoneNADJS, that sounds like a really difficult thought to contemplate Smiley Sad I am sorry you are feeling this way. I don't know if this helps but I know that you have tried really hard to figure everything out.. even if you have not been able to stop new members showing up, you have been doing your absolute best. You have also been under a lot of stress and pressure, not to mention dealing with school and everything else the world is throwing at us right now.

It sounds like you have been making some progress with your psychologist.. is that right?
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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[N@Taylor-RO Thank you.

 

I think R has been. I don't remember too much about that.

 

R's not having a good time and she wants me to take over as host again. I feel kind of weird because it's like I've skipped ahead in time and it's weird because things have moved on without me. I think R should stop hosting for now though. She's going through a lot.