Hey @Eden1717, it really can be so challenging to have to repeat uncomfortable things. I have even been through that myself. I can tell how much you are hurting. Despite how hard it is, your psychiatrist is going to be one of the best supports to help you decide what is helpful when you are feeling like this. It is about finding something that is best for you and if that does not include the hospital, then they will support you in figuring out what is beneficial for you We believe in you. If you feel like you are about to harm yourself or someone else then please reach out to a professional service.