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Re: TW? Generally feeling alone

@xXLexi_Lou122Xx @Bananatime04  it is very nice of you both to be considerate of each other’s feelings @xXLexi_Lou122Xx  you seem very sad atm and I know when I am sad I often think I am a huge burden on everyone and that I am going to make their lives hard. But often that is actually just the depression talking and particularly on a forum like this where people are able to choose when and how they respond I would encourage you to not feel guilty about seeking support from others if they have given you support it is probably because they are feeling ok to do do it so try not to feel bad everyone deserves support and don’t feel like you have to manage other peoples issues it is not your responsibility but I am sure you feel like it is most caring people tend to feel that way. 

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Re: TW? Generally feeling alone

No @xXLexi_Lou122Xx please don’t be upset
I really understand what your are feeling. I know what it’s like to feel so lonely and cut out of the world while being in a crowd of people. I know what it feels like to feel numb. I know what it feels like to feel guilty for dropping all your problems on someone you care about, asking them for help. I know what it feels like to not be yourself. I know how you feel. I just need you to know that I’m here. I’m not demanding you to let me help you but I’m going to be here when you need me because I love and care about you so much. I don’t want to push you to have a conversation with me if you don’t want to but I’ll be here the minute that changes.

You didn’t say the wrong thing. It has really opened my eyes, knowing how you feel. I appreciate you telling me this is how you feel because I wouldn’t have known.

Please don’t be sorry, you have done absolutely nothing wrong. I’m okay Smiley Happy You don’t have to say anything at all, don’t stress!
You are worth my time. I choose to be here and I choose to come back! I love talking to you. You deserve all the help that is available to you and I am available to you whenever you need. You make me feel so much better about myself all the time! You certainly haven’t failed Heart

This is just negative talking, none of it is true. That may seem really hard to believe right now but you need to keep your head up Smiley Happy you’re strong! I’ve seen how strong you are.

*hugs*
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Re: TW? Generally feeling alone

@xXLexi_Lou122Xx I hear you have been feeling so alone but at the same time not feeling like typing so I am giving you the option to reply. You don’t need to reply to my post, I just need you to know I mean every word. Don’t feel pressured to have to have a huge reply to my posts. I understand the stress that can come with replying
I hope you’re ok

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Re: TW? Generally feeling alone

Thank you both @Bananatime04 and @Eden1717.

I really appreciate your words. @Bananatime04 thank you for coming back. I'm glad we both feel the same way about each other. I'm always happy to help and chat to you too.❤

@Eden1717 thank you for your kind words. I will try and remember that.

The only thing is that irl, my family is hard to talk to, because... well, their my family. But in my church family, that changes. I can talk easily to them, and feel listened to. But lately, that's been changing. Even the one motherly lady at church, has become far too busy to talk to me. The youth leaders don't really care, about me in particular. They listen to the other girls, but I feel like I'm way too much of a burden on them than the other girls. They all have less of emotional situations than I, and seem to have more control over their lives than me.

That is what hurts. I'm different to the other girls, and the leaders don't even care about me.
They should care. That's why they are leaders. To help younger people to get through life and become disciples of God.

But they don't seem to have the room in their lives and hearts to actually listen and let me be myself.

So when youth starts back up again, I'm going to keep everything inside. They don't need my burdens. They don't need me at all. I'll just withdraw from everything. I'll say that I'm fine, so they can leave me alone.

Even if I don't really want to. I can't just be okay, so I'll make myself okay with keeping everything inside and not let out anything. I won't waste people's time like that, will I?

I don't even know anymore...
I'm safe
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Re: TW? Generally feeling alone

 
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Re: TW? Generally feeling alone

Hi @xXLexi_Lou122Xx , @Bananatime04  and @Eden1717 , 

 

Just catching up on this thread - I have to say, I am constantly blown away by how articulate you guys are, and how much wisdom and support you share with each other. @xXLexi_Lou122Xx  and @Bananatime04  I'm glad that you are able to communicate well and resolve any misunderstandings, I don't know about you but I find that even though I really love online spaces, I sometimes find it can be really easy to think someone has taken offence/ misread tone, and think the way you guys were able to be mindful of each other's feelings is really great. 

 

Yay you! Smiley Very Happy 

 

@xXLexi_Lou122Xx  , I'm sorry that you're feeling like you can't open up and feel listened to by your church community. It sounds like it's been a really safe space for you in the past, and I hope that can return in the future for you. The end of the year can be a really busy and stressful time for everyone, do you think that could be part of the reason why people seemed too busy to talk to you? 

 

I hear you say that they don't need your burdens - it is easy to feel like we are a burden on the people we care about when we're feeling depressed, but I can promise you that you are not a burden here. And I hope that you can find the support you need and deserve from your support system at church. 

 

And remember, you do also have a strong community here who really value you. I'm imagining the support a bit like this:

 

Image result for hugs gif

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Re: TW? Generally feeling alone

Thank you @Janine-RO Heart you’re words are so beautiful and kind!

But.. I’m not sure how I feel now
That’s all I’m going to say.
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Re: TW? Generally feeling alone

Thank you @Janine-RO. Your words are so kind.

One day my church family will be better. But not for a while.

It's not just the new year, just in general they're all too busy.

But oh well. I'm a waste of space and time to them.
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Re: TW? Generally feeling alone

Awh @xXLexi_Lou122Xx you are not a waste of space or time! Heart
I’m sorry you’re feeling so down Smiley Sad what usually makes you feel better? We can talk about what’s wrong, we can hit the games threads, we can share really cute animal GIFs and pics, you could have a picture of Eddie, we can talk about something random to distract you or I can give you some ideas of what you could do to help yourself while you’re feeling like this? Do any of these sound good to you right now?
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Re: TW? Generally feeling alone

Hi @Bananatime04  and @xXLexi_Lou122Xx , 

 

It really is wonderful to see how supportive you two are of each other. I think some self-care and distraction could be a really great idea @Bananatime04  - I'm wondering if it might be a good idea for you guys to just take an hour or so away from the forums and do something nice for yourselves like go for a walk/ do a drawing/ cuddle your doggo, and then come back after that. '

 

What do you think? 

 

For some reason this episode of The Simpsons came to mind lol Smiley Wink 

 

Image result for playing outside GIF

 

 

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