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Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

Hey @Bananatime04 

Sounds like a tough week, but it also sounds like you have been so strong and kept going which is amazing!!! It can be hard when you everything feels on top of you, but please know that you are worth being heard and the I can already see here how much the community wants to support you. You also provide so much support to people here which is a credit your strength.

Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

@Bananatime04 I just want to second what @Claire-RO said. 

And I'm really glad you're still here Heart

Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

We’re all glad that you’re still here @Bananatime04.
Here for you if you need to talk. ❤️

// You are worth Something, not Nothing. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise //

Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

thank you @Bee Heart I think that is a good idea! I might copy and paste a post on here and either add to it or adjust it a bit because there’s only so much I am able to share on here.. some things I’m still unsure if I’m able to or not.
The doctor brought up my counsellors email while my parents were in there with me last time and they started reading it as well which was so fucking irritating because I told my counsellor this needs to be confidential as my parents are not good at supporting this stuff, it just feels like they’re judging and it did mention I requested time with her alone.. as we left she said it may be best if I come in by myself as I’d feel more comfortable but I doubt she’d remember that after 2 weeks with All the people that come see her. I also doubt my parents would let me go in alone if she didn’t remember. Sorry if this is confusing

Thank you Smiley Happy

Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

Well... @queenP uhhh I think I’m bi and I don’t know what to do or how to know for sure or how to tell people and my parents are going to be so disappointed, people on here might not even talk to me idk I just feel really panicked about it. I had 3 identity crisis’s. It’s so embarrassing 😣
Idk what to do

Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

Thank you @Claire-RO @Tiny_leaf and @xXLexi_Lou122Xx For making me feel wanted Heart you guys are true lifesavers and I’m So lucky to have you in my life. You all at reach out give me a purpose at times Smiley Happy I appreciate it more than words can explain

Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

Thanks for feeling as though you could talk to me about this @Bananatime04, I know that discussing your sexuality can be very personal and difficult, especially when you aren't 100% sure. 

 

In terms of what to do and how to tell for sure, my biggest piece of advice would be to take some time to just sit with the idea of being bisexual on your own. When I realised I was a lesbian, I felt quite daunted and unsure and strange too, but the more I explored what this might mean on my own, the better and more confident I felt that this was my identity. In terms of 'exploring' my identity, I tended to watch videos on Youtube with same-sex couples, and read stories about same-sex relationships as this was something I really enjoyed. Other times, I would spend time imagining myself with girls that I liked from school and what a relationship with them would look like. During this time, I tried not to interrogate what my feelings meant too much, I just did what made me happy and went from there. Eventually, I was able to group these positive feelings towards women together and classify them as 'attraction', but that took some time. I would highly recommend that you don't put too much pressure on yourself to find a label that suits you immediately - when you know, you'll know. 

 

With regard to telling people, and particularly your parents, my advice would be to do this in your own time when you feel comfortable with who you are. While my experience may not be the same as yours, I found it helpful to take some to sit with my sexuality before telling some people. This gave me the space to love who I was before I had to battle with other people's opinions of whether it was right or wrong. I think this was potentially the most useful thing that I did in the process of coming out - I initially tried to come out very early, before I had personally accepted that I was a lesbian and was comfortable with that identity. I'm glad that I didn't tell too many people, because the few years that came after this gave me the chance to grow, build confidence, and learn to like myself for who I was. In terms of discussing your sexuality with your parents, this is a tricky one. I personally have a very strong relationship with my parents and I knew that they didn't have a problem with homosexuality, so I was very lucky. However, I recognise that not everyone is this fortunate, and even if they are, coming out is still a scary experience. Do you feel as though you could discuss this with your parents? If not, is there someone else you trust that you feel comfortable discussing it with? 

 

When it comes to coping with people's opinions of being same-sex attracted, there will always be people that support you, people that don't, and people that surprise you. No matter how anyone in your life responds to the idea of you being bisexual, there is a whole community of people out here who love and accept you for who you are, no matter who that may be. With regard to RO, this is a LGBTQIA+ friendly space, so you can always feel welcome here. 

 

Overall, my advice is this: take your time, and enjoy the experience of learning who you are. There is nothing to be embarrassed about when it comes to exploring your sexuality - this is an incredibly normal experience. Be kind to yourself during this process, and try not to judge your feelings, impulses or thoughts, because whatever happens and whatever comes up, you are worthy of love and belonging.Thanks again for reaching out, and if there's anything else you'd like to ask, please don't hesitate to reach out xx

Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

@Bananatime04
I would never leave you because your sexuality may be different. I’m not against it, but I am straight currently.

I’m also here if you want to talk about it. @queenP is probably better though, as I have no experience. But moral support is good too, right? Smiley Happy

You are most welcome Smiley Happy

There is a lesbian couple at my current school, and they look quite happy with showing the world what they are.
But again, coming out can be very daunting, as @queenP said.
We’re here for you all the way!

Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

@Bananatime04 just so you know, it's safe to be open about stuff like this on RO. Like I personally haven't experienced any hate here for being queer. I think we actually have a few other people who are bi here, plus a lot of other LGBTIQA+ people like @queenP 

(speaking of @queenP, her advice was really good and I 100% agree)

 

We're here if you need anything. 

Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

thank you so much for your post @queenP Heart the support you offer is always just what i need to hear and is always so helpful Smiley Happy

so far I have only told two of my closest friends but I haven't actually said I'm bi, I've just said that I'm a bit confused about who i am and I'm struggling to identify myself in turns of sexuality so they know I'm not certain yet. the reason I am not feeling confident in telling my mum is because growing up she has said a few times "you better not be gay" and is kind of judgemental towards same-sex couples. My step sister is a lesbian though and she has mentioned that my dad has been quite abusive about it which scares me a lot.. I feel like my parents will not be supportive about it, feel disappointed an feel like they have failed as a parent honestly. Sadly i wasn't very fortunate with my parents with sexuality but it is what it is i guess. i cant really change the way they see people.

thank you for sharing what helped you while you were learning how to love yourself for being who you are Smiley Happy i will be sure to give those things a go. I feel like I would lose a lot of people due to judgement if I open up about being bi and i feel like no one would see me as the same person.. people at my school are so cruel with this topic and just call people gay and whatever to upset them and use it as an insult. I feel like i should be ashamed of myself for being who i am but i cant help it. Part of me feels like i do know that i am bi but also part of me feels like i shouldn't be. its really confusing me and making me feel lost, not knowing who i am or who I'm meant to be.

Telling my two closest friends was not a difficult thing to do for me because one of them is also bi and i tell her everything and she's open about herself to me. My other friend is really trustworthy and never really judges anyone for who they are so that helped me open up to them. I don't think i would be able to open up to anyone else in my life about this yet tho.. it's actually really hard and I'm so scared of being judged or being wrong about myself. i just wish it wasn't a problem or wasn't considered something wrong to be with someone of the same gender. people should just be able to live life the happiest way possible without having to worry about people bringing you down for how they feel and what makes them happy. life is just so unfair and its wrong Smiley Sad we only get one life though and you never know when it's gonna end.. may as well just do whatever it takes to make myself enjoy my time as much as possible instead of wasting it keeping who i am to myself. i know its easier said than done but if i remind myself I'm not alone and there are people that will support me for who i am, i will get through it.
thank you so much xx the support you offer is truly inspirational to me