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Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

Hey @Bananatime04, glad to hear you slept well, I LOVE a good sleep in.

Sorry to hear about your panic attack Smiley Sad That's not fun. But dude, none of the posts that I personally have seen of yours have come close to breaking any of the guidelines. If you do break one, the worst we'll do is edit your post and give you a gentle reminder, you won't be in trouble. Try not to stress about it (I know that's easier said than done).

Been reading through this thread and wanted to also let you know that questioning your sexuality is SUPER FINE AND NORMAL. I know there's still a lot of stigma and taboo, and that kids at school can be really insensitive and use pretty nasty language at times - I'm hella gay and just finished school, and I did struggle with those things too. If you have any questions about it, feel free to ask Smiley Happy

Hope you have a good day today my friend, how are you doing?

Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

Ahh.. that makes me feel really bad about myself 😥
I’m sorry I think I’m gonna take a break for a while

Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

Hey @Bananatime04 Smiley Happy It's okay to take a break. Can I ask what has made you feel bad? I'm sorry if I said anything to make you upset.

Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

@roseisnotaplant “If you do break one, the worst we'll do is edit your post and give you a gentle reminder, you won't be in trouble.“
That doesn’t apply to me 😥

Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

I'm sorry @Bananatime04 I wasn't aware of your situation and I said some insensitive things, I apologise. When RO does ban users it is for their own safety and the safety of other forum users - what I have seen from you recently has exhibited that you are very competent at making sure you and other forum users are safe. In fact you regularly clarify that you are safe in your posts, which I think is really great and shows that you have a good awareness of your own situation Smiley Happy I think you have really learned from your bans and are a very thoughtful and considerate user - do you think you could think about bans perhaps as a learning experience or safety measure, instead of a punishment or something to be afraid of?

Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

Well @roseisnotaplant that’s been really hard for me lately because my mental health has escalated significantly over the past 3 months and reach out is my only current available support until February next year. I am also under a lot of pressure because if there is any need to edit my posts before the end of the year I will be banned for 3 months. Being on the forums has become so stressful but it’s my only support and I’m scared of what will happen if I just lose my only little piece of hope. You guys all give me hope and give me my purpose to life and it’s just been a lot to deal with lately. I know you didn’t mean to upset me or anything because how on earth would you have known this was happening? Yes in deed being under pressure to keep myself under control in order to keep my posts suitable for the forums has made me stronger and made me become more aware of what I’m posting but the thought of any small wrong word could mean that I lose my purpose to life, that does scare me. A lot.

I am really sorry

Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

@Bananatime04 It's really good to hear that you're finding reachout to be a really positive support in your life, and I can understand that the prospect of losing that could be scary. It sounds like you're aware of the guidelines and how to conduct yourself though. If you're ever unsure about whether a post is okay or not, you can always email reachout before posting, or ask a staff member or mod for clarification. Do you think it might help spend a bit of time having a go at some of the games threads? I know that helps me when I want to feel the support of reachout, but I'm nervous or not in the mood to write a serious post. I'm sorry that you're struggling with this my friend, but I'm very glad to hear that RO gives you hope and purpose, I think a lot of us can relate to that Smiley Happy

Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

Hey @Bananatime04 


I'm really sorry to hear that you had a panic attack this morning. The last thing we want at ReachOut is for our valued community members to feel scared or stressed on the forums. In saying that I do understand why you'd be feeling a lot of pressure to post safety. That must be really hard for you but I want to assure you how incredibly you are doing! 


I know it may seem like punishment when pauses are put into place. As @roseisnotaplant mentioned we only do this to ensure everyone is safe and getting the full range of support that they deserve.


We also work really closely with anyone on a pause, as everyone has a different situation and needs. To protect your privacy we are more than happy to continue these conversations with you via email. Please send us an email as you have been doing to the email and we are more than happy to support you there. 


Our number one goal is to make sure everyone can spend time on the forums. Even when pauses are put into place we are always trying to make sure we can give the support needed to return to the forum and post safely. 


You are such a valued member of this community and these forums would not be the same without you. We hope that we're lucky enough to have someone like you here for a very long time! 


You did mention you had a panic attack earlier today. Were you able to do anything nice for yourself to self care? Heart 

Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

Sorry @roseisnotaplant I had gym so I couldn’t join you in the games threads..
my anxiety makes the pressure and stress while posting 10x worse and nothing is going to change the way I see a pause when it’s a 3 month break from having a reason to live

Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

Thank you @Bre-RO
I am not doing well with posting.. it’s actually really hard for me because I have so many things I want to post about but I have to force myself not to say anything but it’s scary when I have the person taking all the control. This is something I think only @Tiny_leaf understood when I opened up about it last time Smiley Sad

I still see it as punishment

Emailing you guys isn’t the same as talking to Lexi, tiny_leaf, WheresMySquishy, queenP, Bee, roseisnotaplant ect because the support from each and every user on here is so different in many ways and there’s always going to be one piece of advice that helps more. When you have this many people suggesting all these options that could help with a situation, it’s most likely that you are going to find the right thing for you. Also coming from people with the same experiences. This is one of the many things that I find so valuable about being on reach out. I know you probably don’t understand what I’m saying but it’s hard to be under the pressure of one wrong move and you lose it all.

I know it is unfair to other users if I break a guideline because yea this is a safe space for everyone and by me doing that could trigger someone. I try so hard not to do that but you’re right. I probably don’t deserve to be here when I’m under that level of distress that I can’t control my posts and keep them acceptable. I don’t deserve to be here sometimes. I don’t deserve my life’s purpose (you guys). I’m safe it’s just the truth.

I did have a panic attack but I didn’t do anything after it. I kinda just laid down panicking.. over literally nothing. I actually feel that stupid