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Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

I promise you, you are not a burden. Your mum may just be struggling a little bit with everything that’s happened these past few months...
But then again, I don’t know your parents.

We all feel like a burden at some point, and I know that from experience. I still feel that way with my parents.

Just going to say that we are all here for you all the way through this dark place.


Sorry if I suck at supporting... It’s been a while.

Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

@xXLexi_Lou122Xx probably just a mind reader Smiley Tongue

It's warm here as well, it keeps getting past 40 degrees and I'm melting a little...

 

@Bananatime04 what do you think I could do to support you with that?

Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

@Bananatime04  I was so excited to meet everyone because I didn't know what people looked like! We got to look around the office. It was so cool. It was a lot larger than other offices I've volunteered in so I almost got lost in it a few times. Smiley LOL
Some of the other mods came. There were about 10 of us. Most of us were new mods. We had so much fun getting to know each other and got to do a lot of fun activities together. We even got 'goodie bags' to take home with a squishy inside! Smiley Happy
I think you'd be a great mod when you become old enough. Smiley Happy

I hope you feel better soon. You're definitely not a burden. I have my own account but my parents still pay for most of my stuff. I'm sure your parents are proud of what you've achieved and want to help you get better and see you do something that you love. Heart
I can totally relate to how expensive medical treatment can be. I had an eye procedure recently that cost $450 (and that was with a 'pensioner's discount') and I've had to have eye drops that cost $95 for a bottle every few weeks, in addition to a bunch of other medications at the same time. If my parents did not pay, I have no idea how I'd be able to cover the cost of those things on my own. I also don't know how people less wealthy than us would be able to afford medical care. I think it's really hard (yet not uncommon) for young people to afford treatments. Hopefully your parents can understand this. Heart

Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

Thanks @xXLexi_Lou122Xx Smiley Happy
I know I’m probably not a burden but it just feels like it sometimes..
you don’t suck at supporting! I quite like the way you support me

Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

@Tiny_leaf well I’m not really sure.. last time was good but I don’t want to break any guidelines if it gets too strong. I think I’m just gonna have to deal with it and let it get stronger by the day Smiley Sad

Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

@WheresMySquishy that sounds like an amazing experience! I would really love to meet the amazing team behind reach out but I live in tassie and I never know when they’re going to events or anything.. it’s alright tho. Maybe when I’m older

I like squishies Smiley Happy were they reach out squishies?

Thank you Heart I also have my own account but I only have $700.. I can’t really pay for much. I have to pay for my holiday training which will be all of my money Smiley Sad I’m supposed to be saving for a car but I can’t when I keep having to spend it
Is your eye ok now?

Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

Hi @Bananatime04 , just coming back to your post a bit earlier where you said "well I’m not really sure.. last time was good but I don’t want to break any guidelines if it gets too strong. I think I’m just gonna have to deal with it and let it get stronger by the day"

 

I'm hearing that you're worried about breaking the guidelines if you share something, is that right? We really value your contributions here, you give so much thoughtful advice and support to people and are a really valued member of this community. Please don't be too hard on yourself. 

 

Getting used to the guidelines in an online space can be tricky sometimes. 

We are always happy to chat about guidelines over email if you find that helpful, so that we can keep this a safe space for everyone Smiley Happy

 

Do you mind me asking what you mean by letting it get stronger by the day?

 

Heart 

 

 

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Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

Hey @Janine-RO Smiley Happy
Well I don’t think anyone is going to understand apart from Tiny_leaf because they have also experienced it.. it’s like this ‘person’ we are trapped with. I’m stuck in this body with something controlling what I think and do. It tells me things and makes me do things to myself. It reminds me daily how much of a worthless, useless waste of space I am and I once tried to ignore it for the first time but I had tiny_leaf with me the whole time which probably made me a lot safer but I still self harmed that night.. as punishment for trying to ignore it.
I don’t think I’d be able to ignore it again without having Tiny_leaf but it’s gotten so worse as I haven’t done anything about it for a long time and.. I’m afraid if I do, What would happen. I don’t wanna be banned so I guess I really have to deal with it getting worse as it takes more control over me over time.
You probably don’t understand but it’s quite hard to put into words, I’m sorry
I am currently safe though so don’t worry about me
Thank you Heart

Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

Hi @Bananatime04 , 

 

Thanks so much for opening up more about that, and thanks for confirming your safety Heart 

 

Having intrusive thoughts like these isn't uncommon, but it can be really distressing. Feeling like you're stuck in your body and being controlled by those negative, awful thoughts is a horrible feeling. I was wondering if you'd ever come across this personal story on the ReachOut site ? She talks about how she experienced similar negative thoughts about herself, and things she found useful in breaking that cycle, the link is here . 

 

From what I've seen on the forums, you have a lot of fantastic self care ideas and strategies that you've suggested to other users, so this may be redundant for you but I thought it was a nice reminder of things that can be done as self-help strategies for self harm, they may also be helpful in helping you to reduce some of the distress you're feeling in those moments https://au.reachout.com/articles/self-help-for-self-harm

 

You have shown a lot of strength and resilience, and I think you should be incredibly proud of yourself for that. As I mentioned before, the forums are a safe space where we can have difficult discussions around these topics, and as long as those posts remain within the guidelines this can be a place where you are safe, and you are not alone. I know it can be really hard to put this stuff into words, I really admire the strength you show in talking about these issues. 

 

Hopefully in the future you'll also be able to build a trusting relationship with mental health professionals who can continue to support you, and the community is here for you Heart 

Re: TW: Having negative thoughts

@Bananatime04 are you worried about breaking the guidelines because you're worried you might self harm?

 

@Janine-RO this is kinda like intrusive thoughts, but not entirely..

Like this is my experience of it, though obviously it won't be identical to Bananatime04's:

 

It's like literally having another person trying to control you, like it's a separate being.

Mine started off just "in my head", but eventually turned into hallucinations. It has its own appearance and voice, enough for me to tell it apart from all my other hallucinations.

It feels more like an abusive relationship than it does negative thoughts (though it can lead to negative thoughts as well for obvious reasons).

Like idk if you've ever heard of traumatic bonding, but that's what started to happen with it for me.