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TW: Holidays = loneliness

Hello. I am currently on school holidays and haven’t left my house in 2 days i really just feel like actual trash. I spend my whole day in my bedroom hiding from my family and friends because i just feel like i cant face them at all, they try to understand me and care for me but im scared they will never be able to understand what is happening with me and feel guilty for making me spend time with the guy who sexually assaulted me when i was a kid. (I was 8 and he was 13) i dont want them to feel like it was theirs fault and ruin there realasionship with the guys family im scared they wont believe me or he’ll deny it and i will get punished. I live my family and his family im very close with too. I just feel sooo depressed. It takes me hours to get out of bed, to eat to breathe feels like too much effort. 

 

 

Sorry this was rambly and probably not spelt correctly. 

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Re: Holidays = loneliness

Hi @rainbowpotato,

 

Thank you so much for reaching out to us. Holidays can be a really challenging time with lots of down time and less structure. It sounds like the school holidays have been challenging for you so far Heart What do you find the most challenging part of the school holidays? 

 

We had a recent live chat about getting through the holidays that you might find really helpful here Smiley Happy

 

You mentioned feeling like your family doesn't understand what you are going through and that you are wanting to preserve the friendship between the two families, is that right? Just to clarify, have you spoken to your family or anyone else about the sexual assault before?

 

It takes so much courage and strength to share your story and I want to thank you for trusting us Heart Your safety is our number one priority and we are here for you if you need to talk Heart Over the holidays, 1800RESPECT are also available, and they are helpline that support survivors of sexual assault if you want to speak to someone immediately Heart



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Re: TW: Holidays = loneliness

hi @rainbowpotato
thank you for being brave and sharing, I'm really sorry to hear that you've been going through this. @Jess1-RO mentioned 1800RESPECT which is a great resource, do you think this might be helpful for you?
The holiday season can be an isolating or difficult time, and I just wanted to say that we are here for you and care about you.
Have you spoken to anyone/spoken to a professional about what happened to you?
Please keep us updated Heart

Re: TW: Holidays = loneliness

No. Ive never told ANYONE. i dont  think I can... i have this idea in my head that i am lying/ want attention. But im not im not lying. 

Yes. I want to keep the relationship between our families good. My mum and his mum are really close and have been for a long time. And his younger brother and i are close and have been my whole life, i cant lose him... he is my best friend and my best supporter in life. 

Re: TW: Holidays = loneliness

Hi @rainbowpotato I'm sorry to hear of what has happened to you, no one should have to go through that. I can appreciate it's a very personal and sensitive topic to talk about, thank you for confiding in us it takes a lot of courage Heart We believe you 100% and if you ever find that you need support the suggestion of contacting 1800 RESPECT would be a good option. I can hear that keeping the relationship between your families is important to you. We just want to make sure that you are okay? We're here to listen and support you Heart

Re: TW: Holidays = loneliness

I believe you @rainbowpotato , I know you're not lying and what you are feeling is completely valid.
It sounds like a lot is on your shoulders, I'm really sorry to hear you've been going through all of this Smiley Sad
How have you been feeling recently?