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TW: How to deal/cope with friend group drama

Hey guys.

I have been struggling with drama between a backstabber friend's group, and my friend group. 

The enemy group is making up shit about my friends in our small group, and tells everyone else that we did something wrong. Then they keep stalking us at school, where ever we go, to come and lie to our faces. Each of my friends has been lied about, and I think that I'm next. I'm scared, but I don't officially know what's been going on. My friends won't tell me what has been said about them, and continue plotting against the enemy group without me.

 

I wanted to report what happened, but I couldn't, as the bell went before I could.

And my year co said that she already talk to them. I don't want to keep bothering her about it, but something has to be done, before something big goes down.

 

I don't know what to do.

@Tiny_leaf @Bananatime04 @TOM-RO @Jess1-RO @dncinginthedirt ?

Re: TW: How to deal/cope with friend group drama

Hi @xXLexi_Lou122Xx! I'm so sorry you have to go through people stirring up drama. Smiley Sad It can be really hard to not care about what people think of us. Remember, lies usually come back to haunt the people that spread them. If they have been making up rumours and lies about everyone, chances are that they'll be caught out eventually. They might end up with a reputation for lying and being untrustworthy, which will probably end up making them look worse than the people they lie about. It is really their own problem, not anything to do with us. We may not be able to fully control what people say about us but we can choose how we respond to rumours and lies and how we feel about them. All that matters is that you keep believing that you're a good person. I remember a quote that said those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

I think it's a good idea to ask the teachers at your school if you can report when the drama llama group comes near your group and whether they are able to help set up boundaries between your group and the other group.

Re: TW: How to deal/cope with friend group drama

Hey @xXLexi_Lou122Xx, that sucks...

 

I'm terrible with interpersonal conflicts unfortunately, and I'm not usually people-oriented enough to notice them... (I was bullied for a few months in primary school, I honestly didn't notice and they gave up...)

I can still offer support and suggestions, just not experience...

 

I'm just wondering, what do you mean when you say "something big" will go down?

And is there a way you can keep a record of the conflict (keeping it as unbiased as possible) and what you've said to teachers about it?

Having a written record somewhere might help if anything escalates. 

Re: TW: How to deal/cope with friend group drama

Thank-you @WheresMySquishy.
I like the 'Drama llama' group! Lol.
I remember that quote. I see it in my English classroom all the time.

I don't think there's a way to set up boundaries, but I'll go and ask anyway. I can talk to my year co at lunch time.
I'm actually not worried about what they say about us, it's just that a fight will possibly break out, or something else, idk what.

@Tiny_leaf, that sounds like a good idea, but I don't think I can do an unbiased record. I wouldn't be able to get the llama group's side. I think I'll talk with my friends about it, but I can't promise anything. I just hope that today will be better, and that nobody will get hurt physically or emotionally. It's really draining, having to deal with this.
Thank you for the advice guys.

Re: TW: How to deal/cope with friend group drama

I couldn't talk to my year co today.
She was at a PD thingie. I ended up in tears because there was so much going on. I'm so drained, and it isn't fair that this is going on. Some of the girls in the llama group aren't even a part of this f'ed up shit. I can't deal with it anymore. I was in tears, because I had no one to talk to. On the upside, I got to go to the sewing club at school..... That sorta helped. I guess........

Re: TW: How to deal/cope with friend group drama

Hi @xXLexi_Lou122Xx, I'm sad that you're feeling so down. Smiley Sad Nothing in life is fair, isn't it?

It's okay that you couldn't talk to your year co today. There will be other opportunities to sort out the issue. Remember, as much as it feels like a major problem, it's only temporary. You never know. Maybe the drama won't end up becoming a bigger problem and die down. Sometimes drama stirrers get bored of harassing certain people and move on.

The sewing club sounds fun! I was never good at sewing in school.

Are there any things that help you when you're feeling down?

Re: TW: How to deal/cope with friend group drama

@xXLexi_Lou122Xx that sucks...

Is there any way that you could step away from both groups until the drama dies down?

I'm sure that you're not the only one getting sick of all this drama, and sometimes if you step away from conflict you create a "neutral" group that people can filter into once they've got all the drama out of their systems. I've done that accidentally on a few occasions, it may be worth a try.

Re: TW: How to deal/cope with friend group drama

Hey @Tiny_leaf , @WheresMySquishy.
Thanks for the advice, but I can't do anything like that. They'll just find me eventually, no matter where I go.

At least it's a long weekend. Then on Tuesday, I have the spelling bee finals. Hopefully that helps. They won't find ne there.............. I think.........................

Re: TW: How to deal/cope with friend group drama

That sounds so hard @xXLexi_Lou122Xx..

What happens when they find you? And do you have somewhere that will be safe from any physical violence? 

Re: TW: How to deal/cope with friend group drama

I just run away from them.
This incident has supposedly been reported, and the school didn't do anything. I told my group that they needed to keep reporting right from the start, for something to happen. They clearly didn't do that, even if it would've been an obvious thing to do. Oh well. I'll get there... eventually.

Even if all this drama is stressing me out so much that I'm getting sick.