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Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Hey @Taylor-RO

 

Yeah, things are pretty hard and I don’t have support from friends and family either. Nothing really helps at this stage and I can’t relax if I have so much to worry about. I know I have to make it to work tomorrow because it’s the only time I focus on something, which is not one of my problems.

 

I can’t stop blaming myself. Everyone eventually gets tired of me and ends up leaving. This has happened in both personal and professional relationships. They worked in multiple practices in my case and they could have continued but they didn’t care about me enough to continue working with me. At the start, they had promised that they would help me get to the other side and not leave me. It was the only reason I started trusting them.

 

Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Another day has passed by and I struggled to make it in to work. All I can do now is stay in bed. Self care is not for me and no matter what I do, nothing improves.

 

I don't know what I did to deserve all this, but it has become clear to me that I will have to live like this and nothing will get better. 

Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Hey there @skyfireinferno99 sounds like today's been really hard. 

Did you stay home from work today? 

Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Hey @gina-RO

 

Yeah I did. I couldn't go in to work today and I couldn't get anything done from home either. I guess this is how my life will be. Nothing will ever get better.

Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Hey @skyfireinferno99, I hope you don't mind me jumping in here. I've been reading through this thread and wanted to reach out. (Bad joke, haha!)

I'm hearing that you're feeling pretty bleak at the moment, am I right?

 

I want to congratulate you on graduating from university - that's a tough thing to do, and you made it! I'm wondering about your work - what's it like?

Could you talk to a co-worker/manager about what's been happening for you?

Hope to hear from you soon Smiley Happy

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Hey @letitgo Thanks Smiley Happy 

 

Yeah I am feeling pretty bleak. I don't have professional support anymore and my family and friends don't care either. 

 

I like my job. It's an engineering role and the work environment is really good too. Work is my only escape and it's the only thing that keeps me going. I tried talking to a co-worker (who is also a close friend), but he didn't reply. I have only pushed people away by opening up about my struggles Smiley Sad No one cares anymore. I don't think that I can talk to anyone else about this at work. I have to pretend that things are fine when they are not and carry on.

 

I don't want any of it to affect my work, but it does. I would have been able to cope a bit better if I had some professional support but that doesn't seem to be the case anymore.

 

Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

I made it in to work today, which seems like an achievement to me. 

 

I have also realised that I am a lost cause. I have given up all hope that anything can change for the better, especially now that I have no support left.

Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

@skyfireinferno99 Getting in to work today is a huge achievement, well done Heart

It's awesome that you enjoy your work - it sounds really interesting. But it sucks that you have been feeling less motivated and able to engage with your work because of how you're feeling. 

 

Im sorry too that you reached out to a friend, and they didn't respond. That can be really discouraging. Sometimes others don't feel like they know how to respond even if they do really care about you. 

You mentioned your professional support is no longer an option - can I ask why that is? 
Is is possible for you to connect in with new professional support?  

 

We care Heart

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Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Hey @gina-RO

 

As I mentioned before, I have been abandoned twice by psychologists who I trusted and opened up to. I don’t think I can trust someone again. I don’t have the energy to try seeking professional support again despite the diagnoses of Aspergers and ADHD. I constantly worry about who will abandon me next. I have tried online services too and they have suggested to reach out to face to face support. After being abandoned twice I can’t do it again Smiley Sad 

 

Its also hard when I don’t have any support from friends and family. Opening up to them has only made things worse.

 

Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

that does sounds really rough @skyfireinferno99 Smiley Sad
After being twice bitten i can understand you needing time before you can trust another professional. I just wanted to say how brave it is that you have been continuing to reach out for help in different contexts, it shows a lot of strength Heart 
Of the online services you tried, did you discuss your hesitance in seeking face-to-face help? Do you think they might be willing to set up phone/web counselling if you explained your concerns? 

Hope your evening's going okay xx