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Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Hey @Jay-RO

 

I haven’t had a break in more than 2 years now, so I do feel pretty burnt out. I suffer from chronic body pain too, which makes things even harder for me.

 

It really sucks when people don’t respond but it’s not the first time. I guess I am used to it. Almost everyone does this to me.

 

Reading books and papers about the diagnosis helped me understand it better, but it’s permanent. It’s not something that can be fixed. 

 

I used to read books and listen to music as my hobbies but I have given up on everything. Nothing will ever get better for me. If I still had my psych, I probably wouldn’t have. I was getting better when I had face to face support but after being abandoned twice, I am not going to go back. Online counseling hasn’t helped either. I have tried a couple of services. It takes a long time to connect and it’s usually a hit and miss.

 

I guess I truly am a lost cause. I don’t think that anything can be done. 

 

Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Hey there @skyfireinferno99,

 

Two years sounds like a long time to go without a break, is that something you'd like to do? You also mentioned that you suffer from chronic pain, is this something you've ever been to a GP about? It sounds like it is really impacting you and seeking help from a dr might help, what do you think?

 

Is the diagnosis being permanent an issue for you? It's great that the research helped you understand it better. I believe that some places have support groups and services that can help you specifically, do you know if there's any in your area? (A quick google search should give you a good idea if there are any nearby you)

 

It's great that you tried online counseling, even though it didn't help. Those sound like great hobbies, do you have any favourite books or songs that you would read/listen to? 

 


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Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Hey @Jay-RO

 

Yeah, two years is a long time, but there is nothing that I can do to relax and switch off. A break is not really possible. I have to keep working to feel okay. It sucks that this is the case, but that's how my life is. If I am not working, I keep thinking about how bad things are and how everyone abandons me.

 

I have talked to my GP about chronic pain and I am on treatment for that, but it's a long and slow process, which is annoying. Chronic pain and all the mental health issues make my life extremely hard on a daily basis. I lost the last bit of hope when my psych left me. Even though face to face support was the only thing that was helping, I will never be able to go back (especially after two abandonments). 

 

The diagnosis means that I am not normal and it's permanent in the sense that it cannot be fixed. It's something that I will have to live with. I couldn't find any support groups, I had a look. I prefer talking about this one on one with my psych, but after she left me, it's not an option anymore.

 

I liked reading both fiction and non-fiction and I listened to all types of music. I still listen to music, but it's not enough to distract me from my thoughts. I don't think that I can go back to doing any of the things that I liked. It's too much effort.

Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Hey @skyfireinferno99, it is great that work is a distraction from your daily thoughts. It must be difficult to not feel like you can rest, even if you need it though. If you are unable to have a break, what are some ways you can look after yourself? It sounds like face to face help is the most beneficial support for you. I understand you feel that this carries a lot of risk although it sounds like it also provides very effective therapy for you. Things were improving with this level of support and you deserve this help regardless of feeling abandoned. Your experience of abandonment should not define you as you deserve the chance to experience improvement and nobody can take that away from you so long as you keep trying. It can be a scary step but you could take small steps each day.. Have you thought of using online supports to become more comfortable with face-to-face support? Heart

Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Hey @Taylor-RO

 

I don't think I have ways to look after myself. I can't eat properly, I can't sleep either. I need a break but that's not going to happen. I try and get out of bed when I can and go to work, but it's all I can do. On most days, I can't even do that much.

 

Finding a psychologist again is too much effort. After being abandoned twice, I don't think that I am ever going to go back. I am not ready to get hurt again. I don't have any hope left for improvement to be honest. I can't stop blaming myself for people leaving me. It's my fault. Everyone gets tired of me and they eventually end up leaving me.

 

I have tried online services too. They haven't really worked out for me, and they usually say that face to face is the best option for me (even when I have been abandoned twice). This is due to how bad things are and the diagnoses of Aspergers and ADHD.

 

Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

hey @skyfireinferno99, things sound so challenging, and I can understand that you're feeling pretty low about things. 

 

I just want to take a moment to reflect back on your initial post - you mentioned that you have friends and family, and a few other things that are positive in your life. Even though these things may not be bringing you much joy at the moment, could you tell us a bit about the positive things that keep you going? 

Heart

Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Hey @gina-RO

 

There is nothing positive left for me anymore. My friends and family don't care anymore and opening up to them about my mental health and my diagnoses only made things worse for me. My job is the only thing that keeps me going. I keep losing motivation to work everyday because of how bad things are, and this is affecting the work that I do. When I work, I don't think about how bad things are and it's hard to cope outside of that time. I guess working is one way to deal with pain.

Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Hey @skyfireinferno99 it's fantastic that work is such a great distraction for you. It sounds like though outside of work it can be difficult for you to reign in the negative thoughts? I know you're not up for going to see a psych or counselor but have you had a chance to check out some of RO's articles on how to help manage negative thoughts?

 

I know it can be really difficult at first but at some point we have to try and break that negative thought pattern and try to establish a new one. I found a Challenging Negative Thoughts and a How Sarah Overcame her Negative Self-Talk, which you might find helpful.

 

It might also be helpful to jump into the Turning Negatives into Positives Thread. As this can give you some examples of how other members have reframed their negative thoughts or experiences? And of course if you find distraction helpful, there's always our games and hangout sections, which might be a good way to distract yourself when your outside of work?

 

 

Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Hey @Erin-RO

 

Yeah, I have spent a lot of time reading articles on RO and other websites. I used to do this before I was comfortable enough joining the forum. It makes sense and it would be the advice I would give a friend if they were going through something like this. The things that are mentioned in articles are easier said than done and I have tried and failed so many times. I don't have enough energy left in me to try again. The articles also said to seek help from a professional if you are not able to cope but I don't have that option anymore. I will never be able to go back to see a psychologist again after being abandoned twice. 

 

I find distraction helpful, but work is the only thing that is strong enough to distract me from my thoughts. It sucks that my life is like this, but I am out of options. I tried everything I could. All I can do is give up and focus on my work. I'll see if I can pick up more hours at work. I feel like I am a burden to everyone around. 

Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

I think it's awesome that you've spent time checking out articles and doing some research on what can help @skyfireinferno99. It definitely can feel like the advice or strategies are easier said than done; and they can take a lot of consistent and repetitive work, time and effort, as you're literally trying to change up the neural pathways in your brain! So please don't feel like you've failed, it's more so that we are literally trying to rewire a lifetimes worth of wiring in our brains! Have you looked into neural plasticity at all, it's a pretty interesting topic!

 

It sounds like you have tried a lot of different strategies so it is good that you've found distraction is helpful. If you don't mind me asking, what type of work do you do? Or are there any hobbies or activities that might mirror your work a bit for you?