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Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Hey @Erin-RO

 

I work in engineering, more specifically software engineering. I spend most of my day writing code. I also do a lot of technical writing work. Some things related to my work which I can do outside of work are building side projects, learning new programming languages and completing certifications. I have been trying to do that when I am not at work, but it's hard to find motivation to do so. I barely have any time in the week when I am not looking at a computer screen. Work is a bit of a distraction but everyday, I keep losing my motivation to work and the quality of my work decreases. I feel pretty burnt out too as I haven't been able to take a break for two years now.

 

Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

That's really cool @skyfireinferno99 but yes you definitely might need to try and balance things a bit, especially if you're already feeling burnt out. When you say you haven't been able to take a break from 2 years, is this something that could change? Could you plan a break or trip?

Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Hey @Erin-RO

 

I do need a break but if I am not working, I constantly think about how bad things are and how everyone always abandons me. To me, a break is taking a few days off, where I don't have to worry about things. I don't think I can take a break. I can barely switch off even when I have to sleep at night. I want to go somewhere with my friends, but they have plans without me. They all are busy and they spend most of their time with each other or their partners. It also feels like too much effort to take a break and plan something. It sucks that I have to work myself towards exhaustion to feel okay, when I am already feeling burnt out.

 

Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Hey @skyfireinferno99

 

The planning required to take a break can certainly be exhausting. If you could take a break, what are some things you'd like to do? 

 

I remember you mentioned that you've seen your GP about the chronic pain, have you spoken to them about any other issues you've been having? Such as not being able to sleep or eat? 

 


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Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Hey @Jay-RO

 

Yeah, taking a break is exhausting in itself. If I took a break, I don't want to worry about how bad things are. I want to go somewhere with my friends, but they don't have time for me. 

 

I have talked to my GP about sleep and eating. I have tried medication, but it hasn't helped. We are still looking into why I can't eat properly, but she suspects that both these issues are because of all the stress that I have been under, especially after my psychologists leaving me. She wants me to start getting professional help again, but that's not an option anymore after being abandoned twice.

Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Another day passed by and once again, I couldn't make it in to work. Everything is becoming too much to deal for me. I don't know what to do anymore. Two years of not taking a break is taking a toll on me. On top of that, I can't stop thinking about everyone abandoning me and how bad things are.

Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Great that you have had that conversation with your GP. Was there any other options you discussed? You mentioned not knowing what to do anymore.. what can you do? How can we support you @skyfireinferno99? Heart

Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Just checking in @skyfireinferno99.

I get the sense that before your previous psychologists moved on - which is a reflection of their lives and choices, NOT of you - those relationships were really important and helpful. What do you think are the pros and cons of seeking professional help again?

I'm not sure if it'll be of any use to you in this situation, but I read a quote somewhere (I can't remember it exactly) - along the lines of, "we can be both sad that it's over and smile because it happened." I like that idea that loss can exist alongside what came before it, and I thought you might too. Smiley Happy  

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Hey @Taylor-RO

 

My GP has also sent me to see a dietitian and an exercise physiologist to improve my overall health in general. She still thinks that talking to someone face to face is the best option, now that we have the diagnoses of Aspergers and ADHD. I have said to her that I will never go back because I was abandoned twice.

 

I don't know what to do anymore. I have tried everything I could. I don't think anything can be done Smiley Sad I am a lost cause. I did all I could and now I can only give up.

Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Hey @letitgo

 

I don't see any pros in seeking professional help again if it's not with the psych who left me, but I know that's not possible anymore. 

 

Hypothetically, if I start all over again with someone new, I am not ready to put in all the work. I am tired of trying and failing. I don't have any hope left, so I can't see anything improving for me. There are also risks of things not working out and abandonment. After what happened, the risks outweigh the benefits and I don't think I will ever go back.

 

If it had happened once, it would have been easier to accept, but it happened twice and I don't think I can handle that. My best option is not try to start all over with someone new. I am not ready to get hurt again.