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TW: I can't stand it

Hi, I'm sorry I just really need to get this off my chest because I can't talk to anyone.

 

So I'm at home right now, my mum's at work and my father is at home with my sister & I. 

He had to much alcohol today & I new it wouldn't turn out well so I just decided I'm going to keep to myself, ignore the snide comments & stay in my room. 

Then he went over to neighbors house & cam back really drunk and started repeating everything he would say.

I was talking to my sister & then he started yelling at me, he threatened that he wouldn't give me food etc. It hurts so much to have someone come at you with this sharp, piercing dagger & just stab at every part of your personality & it just feels like it is destroying me. 

I'm trying so damn hard to stay positive but everything is just coming at me in surges & it keeps knocking me down.

 

I don't now how to describe it I just know that I can't keep doing this, I can't keep ignoring it. Every time someone yells or screams I start getting anxiety & panic attacks. I just want it all to stop. I want quiet. He kept saying "I love you," "this isn't my fault" OF COURSE IT'S YOUR FAULT YOU GODDAMN LUNATIC, he's sending me texts like a drunken maniac & I'm so ready to just completely snap at him. He doesn't yell at my sister. It's just me, for no reason. 

Its like he feel like he can pick on me just because my mum isn't here. Idek

 

I can't web chat or call a helpline at the moment because there isn't enough privacy.

Re: TW: I can't stand it

Hey @annabethxchase 

I'm really concerned about what's happening today. Can we hop onto email so I can clarify some information? It sounds like things are particularly worse today for you. We want to make sure you'll be ok. Here for you!

 

-Lina/RO

Re: TW: I can't stand it

Just Responded @TOM-RO Heart

Re: TW: I can't stand it

Hey there @annabethxchase, I'm sorry that this happened Smiley Sad It really sucks when people, especially family members start to attack our personalities. You are an amazing person with a wonderful personality.

Do you have any other supports other than helplines or maybe a regular counselor or psych you see that you could talk to about this?

Are you doing any self-care tonight to help cope?
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Guess what day it was!!! It was Wear It Purple Day!! Come on over and learn all about what it is and what you can still do!

Re: TW: I can't stand it

Naww thanks @N1ghtW1ng Heart

I don't have a counselor or psych I can see, we can't afford it atm. 

I'm listening to some songs (Praying - Kesha, Beautiful Trauma - Pink & I am here - Pink) & just bawling my eyes out but heading to bed soon I think. Hopefully things are better in the morning

Re: TW: I can't stand it

Listening to songs and crying can be helpful as well @annabethxchase Smiley Happy Are there any free services around you such as headspace or school counselors that you could see?

I hope you have a good sleep Smiley Happy
_________________________________________________

Guess what day it was!!! It was Wear It Purple Day!! Come on over and learn all about what it is and what you can still do!

Re: TW: I can't stand it

Yeah @N1ghtW1ng, I'll check about headspace but I can't talk to school counselors because the they have to let the school know and that would be a massive fiasco...

 

You too Heart

Re: TW: I can't stand it

@annabethxchase do you have a headspace centre near you? They are free/low cost services for youth <3
I love those songs! So good! Smiley Happy

I'm sorry to hear things are rough, we are here for you <3

 


THIS WEEK SLOW-MO Getting Real: Getting into the Christmas Spirit!
Don't forget to practice self-care regularly!

Re: TW: I can't stand it

Omg baby I’m so sorryHeartHeart My heart legit tore reading this <3 @annabethxchase

YOU DO NOT DESERVE THIS !!! Is your mum home yet ? Have you called or texted her ? Protect your sister <3 awww im just so upset for you, I’m in tearsHeartHeart crying is good, i hope you are safe and have a good night sleep x

Re: TW: I can't stand it

@Bee I've had a look & there is one an hour away from me south and one 45 mins away from me north I'm stuck right in the middle! 

@litgym Aw thanks, she's home now but she didn't get home till 1 last night (she works late)

Yeah, I did. Thank-you <333