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Re: TW - I constantly think about..

Last night was a mistake. I'm not going to be drinking again any time soon. I am still feeling a little bit yuck but better. And i am spending time with my family tonight at my parents house having dinner which is great. My sibling has been making yummy food and they vegetarianised it for me Smiley Happy which I think is amazing. I'll be going home after and not sure what I'll do but my housemate should be home. I told her about the drinking and feeling like crap, but not the self harm or suicidal feelings. I can't bring myself to tell her those things. Not right now anyway. 

 

@I_am_not_Groot @Tiny_leaf 

Re: TW - I constantly think about..

@mspaceK It sounds like you're in for a lovely evening! There's nothing better than a night in with family. I think it's totally understandable that you haven't divulged those things to your housemate. Self-harm and suicidal feelings are very personal, so it makes total sense to only share as much as you are comfortable with. 

 

Sending lots of love your way xx

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Re: TW - I constantly think about..

@mspaceK  I'm glad that you're spending time with your family. Smiley Happy I hope you can seek support from them. Maybe you could do some self-care for the rest of the day. You deserve it! Heart

Re: TW - I constantly think about..

Hey @mspaceK that sounds wonderful!! I hope you have a great dinner, and I love that they vegetarianised it. Also that’s a good idea, if it isn’t a good experience don’t do it. Have a good sleep tonight and you’ll feel a lot better tomorrow!! 

Re: TW - I constantly think about..

It was a really good dinner. @I_am_not_Groot 

 

I'm just watching tv shows tonight.

 

I wish my boyfriend was here. He's been away for a few days on a holiday out of the state so I haven't been able to spend time with him. He won't be back for another 10 days. Smiley Sad 

 

I feel very little excitement for my life. :/ 

Re: TW - I constantly think about..

@mspaceK do you have any plans for the 10 days?

It might help pass the time, and it could be fun.

Re: TW - I constantly think about..

Honestly I have just been trying to get through each day @Tiny_leaf . And convince myself why my life is worth living. 

 

I haven't really got many 'fun' things to look forward to. I have my support groups at headspace and a dance class. Other than that not much else, unless you count video games/books/tv shows/eating out at a restaurant. But I'm really struggling. 

Re: TW - I constantly think about..

@mspaceK I know the feeling..

Do you think you need more supports?

Re: TW - I constantly think about..

I feel so stuck. I want to give up and yet I know I'll hurt so many people. And I contemplated admitting myself into a psych ward but I don't know if that will make things worse or better. I keep preparing my life, each day, as if it's all leading up to how I want things to be before I die. Like writing letters, cleaning my room and organising my possessions and spending time with my family making some happy last memories. I've been doing this for months. Everyday I get closer to thinking i might actually go through with it and I can be at peace with that. I know it's wrong to feel these things. And any progress feels like a lie. Or like it's limited. Maybe this isn't really me. Maybe things will change or I need to change them. I don't know.  It's so tiring. @Tiny_leaf 

Re: TW - I constantly think about..

@mspaceK I was admitted to a psych ward for like two weeks, so if you'd like to hear any first hand experience or want to ask questions then feel free to ask anything.

 

If you feel like you've got nothing left to lose might it be worth a try?