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Re: *TW* I don't want to be here anymore

@MB95  you have nothing to be sorry for. therapy can be really hard sometimes and i am sorry you are feeling frustrated with it at the moment. it sucks you arent feeling good and i really hope some time soon life gives you are break and you feel a bit better cause you deserve that. 

Re: *TW* I don't want to be here anymore

Hey @MB95 I'll be thinking of you today with your psych appointment, I hope that it goes ok. I understand that feeling of really wanting to cancel, and I get that you're feeling like its a waste of time. I hope you find the session to be valuable and that you get the support you deserve, and we'll be here to chat after if you need to Heart

I'm sad to hear you're feeling that there is no point to life at the moment thats a horrible feeling and must be weighing on you a lot. Do you think you might be able to chat to you psych about this feeling today?

It's such a privilege to watch friendships form on the forum and see young people care so deeply about each other like y'all do. It's so powerful to watch how connections can be healing and comforting, and I feel very lucky to see this. Sending big sloth love your way Heart 

Re: *TW* I don't want to be here anymore

I can't do this anymore. I know you guys aren't here for crisis stuff and I should be going else where but I can't and I don't want to. RO is the only place I feel safe and like people actually understand. I just tried talking to my psych and she's no longer an option either. So now I really am alone. We were only 10min into the session and the phone cut out and I don't want to call back because there's no point anymore. I don't know what to do. I'm not going to break the guidelines and I know you can't really help me but I was just hoping someone might be around to talk to. Idk. I don't even know if I want to talk. I just want to die tbh. It's not worth it. Anyway, that's how I feel, I don't want to talk about it. I just needed to tell someone. I'm sorry. 

Re: *TW* I don't want to be here anymore

Thank you for telling us things are so bad right now. Can you keep talking to me so I know you're safe and I'll get in touch with the RO staff who can email you to keep you safe? We really care about you please don't hurt yourself. Talk to me I'm here @MB95

Re: *TW* I don't want to be here anymore

Hey @MB95 

I can really hear how much pain you're in at the moment, and there is no need to apologise. I'm sorry you're feeling so alone, we are here for you Heart

I'm sending you an email if you can look out for it in your inbox Heart

Re: *TW* I don't want to be here anymore

Please don't hurt yourself @MB95 Smiley Sad You're so important to us. This is a horrible moment but you will get through it because you're so strong and have done it before

Re: *TW* I don't want to be here anymore

When you say your psych isn't an option, did she say something, or is it because the phone cut out? I can hear how alone and hopeless you're feeling right now it makes sense that you don't see the point anymore. There is a part of you that does want help though, I think. A part of you that has hope. Because you've come on here to ask for help. What do you think?

Re: *TW* I don't want to be here anymore

I'm trying to load my email but I don't want anyone to worry about me please. I didn't mean for that. I will be fine, I just don't want to be here anymore. I'm really sorry if I worried you. I just needed to tell someone how I'm feeling. And yes, my psych is gone. Well not yet, but she told me the service is only allowing me 10 sessions this year and after doing weekly/fortnightly ones it's made me feel like she's been lying to me the whole time. The phone randomly cut out but I'm glad it did because I was thinking of hanging up anyway which is why I didn't call back. And she hasn't called me either so just proves I'm a waste of time and space. Just feels like a complete kick in the guts. First my back up psych and now my actual psych all in one week. I'll be okay. I just need to work out how to get through this on my own. I'm really sorry for worrying you @Lost_Space_Explorer5. I wasn't thinking. I just needed to say how I feel. 

Re: *TW* I don't want to be here anymore

@MB95 I'm so sorry you're losing your only support. I hope you're able to get a new support, did your psych mention referring you out to anyone? It's really disappointing that she hasn't rung back but fingers crossed maybe she will? Idk I hope she does. I just wanted to query you saying you'll be okay... I know you've proven we can trust you to keep yourself safe but I'm just really really worried. Alarm bells are going off because you don't seem very supported at the moment and I just feel something is wrong. Will you be able to keep yourself safe? And will you be able to contact someone if you're not feeling safe (even if it's like via a text based chat or calling an ambulance)?

Re: *TW* I don't want to be here anymore

She talked about referring me out to community and wants me to join some DBT program but tbh I have no interest in therapy anymore. I don't know why I bothered wasting all this time to get to where I am and ready to work on the hard stuff when she probably knew this was going to happen the whole time. She promised she wasn't going anywhere and that I could talk to her and she wouldn't refer me out and well.. here we are. I'm just so angry I trusted her. I should have known because no one ever sticks around when I need them. But whatever, it is what it is and there's nothing I can do about it. As angry as I am at her, I don't hate her and know she's only doing her job. Its not her fault I'm so fucked up. I doubt she'll ring back. I was crying when it all happened so she probably thinks I hung up on her cause I was thinking of doing it anyway and told her I couldn't do it anymore. So I don't care if she doesn't. I probably won't answer anyway if she does. PLEASE don't worry about me @Lost_Space_Explorer5. The last thing I want to do is cause anyone extra stress. You guys are already going through enough so PLEASE don't worry about me. I think I just need to sort out what I'm going to do next. I'm thinking of going away for a few days to try and sort my head. And I promise I will do what I can to try and stay safe, so please promise me you won't worry okay? I shouldn't have posted on here. I just really had nowhere else to go I'm sorry.