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Re: TW: I’m not even sure

I really don’t know what to do.

ive done something bad.

fuc I really hate myself and I can’t do this anymore

 I

last night 

I hurt myself again.

i told my boyfriend.

obviously he’s not happy about it.

but 

hes blmaing everything that I’ve done on himself and I don’t know how to make him understand it’s not his fault.

i know I just shouldn’t do these things but I can’t fight the voices that tell me to do it anymore. They keep winning and I don’t know what to do.

im lost, I stuck, I’m  Angry at myself. 

I just

i can’t 

i cant do it anymore

😭😭😭

Re: TW: I’m not even sure

Hi there @Just_nobody 

Sounds like today is really rough. 

It's such a brave thing to do to tell your boyfriend about your self-harm - but it seems like his response came from a place of caring a lot about you, but not quite understanding what was going on for you- do you think that's fair to say? 

 

I can hear that you're feeling really stuck and unsure about what to do from here. 
While you're feeling distressed, it's a good idea to get some support right away to chat through your thoughts - could you call KHS on 1800 55 1800 - they can chat to you for free, anonymously, and give some support right away. 

 

Look out for an email that I'm sending to you as well. 

Heart

_____________________________________________
I'm leaving ReachOut on the 5th of June Smiley Sad Say goodbye here

Re: TW: I’m not even sure

@gina-RO I can’t really call that number right now
I’m at school and won’t be allowed to

Re: TW: I’m not even sure

hey @Just_nobody, I know you must be feeling super distressed right now so I hope that you can call KHL soon and in the meantime read @gina-RO's email for support and reach out to us as well.

 

I know that this must be a very distressing and emotional time for both of you, especially if this is your boyfriend's first time experiencing someone close to him self-harming. I think in this situation it's really important to try and stay calm and remember that this is neither you or your boyfriend's fault. You are coping in a way that isn't ideal but in the best way you can, and your boyfriend has just received some really stressful news and is reacting really emotionally because of it. While you're waiting to get that extra support, some grounding exercises might be helpful to help stay calm.

 

This is the one I use:

• Name 5 things you can see in the room with you.

• Name 4 things you can feel (“chair on my back” or “feet on floor”)

• Name 3 things you can hear right now (“fingers tapping on keyboard” or “tv”)

• Name 2 things you can smell right now (or, 2 things you like the smell of)

• Name 1 good thing about yourself

Re: TW: I’m not even sure

@DirtWitch Yeh it’s 

it’s not the first time 

I’ve hurt myself multiple times before and I’ve told him about it

i know u said it’s neither of our fault 

and you’re right about it not being his fault 

but it’s definitely mine

im the one who chose to do it

i knew he wouldn’t be happy about it but I did it anyway

so it’s my fault 

but thanks for those grounding exercises 

i might use them from now on 

Re: TW: I’m not even sure

Hey @Just_nobody, it is great that you have at least told someone about it. These situations are really difficult and so you should be easier on yourself. Just so you know, I sent you an email Heart We really hope that you find the grounding exercises helpful.

Re: TW: I’m not even sure

@Taylor-RO Yes I saw your email and I replied to it

Re: TW: I’m not even sure

hi @Just_nobody  

ive had a look through some threads and articles and would like to share some with you that might be helpful for you esp when it comes to self harm. 

 

article 1

article 2

article 3

article 4

article 5

article 6

thread 1

thread 2

 

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**
Highlighted

Re: TW: I’m not even sure

hey @Just_nobody, I understand where you are coming from when you say it is your fault, but I want to invite you to think about it in another way.

 

A lot of times when we are struggling we tend to find something or someone to blame, and often times we engage in black and white thinking where one person is 'the bad one' and everything else is blameless. Oftentimes, the person we choose to blame is ourselves and it creates a cycle where we feel overwhelmed, self-harm or do something similar to cope, then blame ourselves and feel worse, which makes us want to self-harm more. In reality a lot of people cope in ways that aren't ideal, from self-harming to smoking to drinking, and it's more of a sign that these people are under a lot of stress and need help, not blame.

 

Think about what you would have done if your boyfriend or another loved one had told you he was self-harming. Would you say it was his fault that he did those things? Or would you have more sympathy and care for his situation?