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Re: TW: I'm terrified about the future

Hi @Bento, It is nice hearing from you again! How was your trip away with your mum? Did you get up to much, or go anywhere exciting, I would love to hear about that Smiley Happy

 

I am sorry to hear you have fallen into a stressful mind state, I wonder if it would be useful for you to do something that makes you feel calm today, I remember you mentioning you like drawing and Anime, are you still doing much of that? 

I can sense your stress and shame with the stress eating, and I understand that completely as I can tend to do the same when I am out of my whits, so you're not alone in that, and it completely normal. I wonder if you have thought about speaking to anybody close to you, family or friend who can be a good support with this? 

Re: TW: I'm terrified about the future

Hey @Bento! so nice to hear from you again and that you had a fun weekend away with your mum. Were you able to forget about the stress for a bit and just enjoy your trip? I hope so! I also think it’s completely normal to have put on some weight during and after lockdown. I know i certainly have. I think a lot of people were using food as a form of comfort. It was a difficult period and we needed good food to get through it so don’t beat yourself up for eating a little more than usual. As for continuing to feel stressed and mentally unhealthy I think you’ve come up with some great ideas in the past to manage these feelings. Did you ever get around to trying hypnotherapy?

Re: TW: I'm terrified about the future

Yes I was able to enjoy my time away, it was at Lorne which is one of my favourite holiday spots. I just wish we could have stayed longer, but I plan on going back and we can take Maggie (my labrador) with us next time since I want her to see Lorne too.

Unfortunately since then, a lot has happened that has made me slide back into feeling extremely stressed. The day before yesterday was really awful for me because there was some drama in the video game industry going on on social media and a lot of people were furious and I was terrified. The video game community is a very toxic community sometimes and I hate that it's like that, because I just want to be able to enjoy games as an escape from reality and good casual fun, but some people completely miss that idea and start conflict with each other over games; it's the same for movies, anime and many other fiction. Its supposed to be an escape from reality, but people just use it to start wars over social media. It makes it very hard for me to be able to enjoy games the way they're supposedly meant to be.

I'm especially worried that my generation seems to have become the most cynical; they are using 2020 as an excuse to be horrible to each other and give up on the world. I'm worried that, in the years to follow, they will be more whiny and bitter than ever because they won't be able to let go of 2020, they will just let the past ruin the rest of their lives and make it everyone else's problem. I've heard things like how thousands of people aged 18-30 refused to vote in the US election because they believed they were powerless to do anything and they have given up trying to protest for change, and how on new years eve they're gonna cry themselves to sleep because they believe things are only gonna get worse. It makes me really ashamed of my generation, we have gone from standing up and fighting to make the world a better place to giving up and bringing everyone down with our whining, and I just don't want to be a part of that. I would like to hear about stories of positivity and hope from my generation this year, but it's hard to find that when most of the stuff I notice on the internet is toxicity and hate.

Re: TW: I'm terrified about the future

@Bento Im glad to hear that you enjoyed your time away. I can empathise with your coming from with worries that this generation won't be able to move on from everything that happened in 2020. I think that your right some people are more cynical but for many people this has also been a time for self-improvement, reflecting on their contributions to the world and trying to find out to more of a positive contribution. I think it may help you to take some time of social media and the internet/news for a little if you can and afterwards spend time researching positive contributions you can make to the world and that others in our generation have made. The break may help to le you, think over all of what you have seen and your mindset without the media's portrayal influencing that and also remember a lot of what is in the media is designed to be clickable and sometimes the positives are less likely to be shown in the media.

Re: TW: I'm terrified about the future

Hey @Bento I wanted to chime in on this because I understand what it's like being part of toxic communities. For me, I find that the people who are so aggressive, especially online, are outliers. Most people don't feel emotionally charged enough to get into fights so they say nothing. Also, unfortunately the rise of social media has made the voices of those who don't mean well louder Smiley Sad It's one of the reasons I don't play games with other people much anymore! However, I have heard stories of people being able to single-handedly change the atmosphere of competitive games through being kind and supportive. If gaming is an escape for you too, I would say that you can still keep it that way by disengaging with the toxicity. A lot of social media is always a mess, but I generally follow game news by looking at articles and youtube videos, because the people on these platforms are a lot more balanced and often are really happily passionate about what they do. 

As for the state of the world, I think that there are many examples of people in our generation who are not like that, and who have become voices for change that are younger than any generation before then. I like to a look at Young Australian of the Year for this, and also follow a lot of local youth community groups to see what a difference one person can make! I think that you're right though that this isn't a great time in history to be a young person, but I also think back to say the 1930's with the Great Depression, and how young people may have felt back then. And of course, if you don't want to be a part of that, there is a chance to find the people and communities that aren't like that.

Sorry I'm rambling a bit, but I have gone through this feeling and I really started to feel better when I changed the media I follow to be only more positive things. It's kind of one of those things where you can control how you feel by controlling what you see, which can inspire you rather than making you feel more hopeless. I hope you're feeling a bit better recently Smiley Happy

Re: TW: I'm terrified about the future

Hi @Bento
I came in to comment since I have felt afraid for future as well. There are lots of negative things happening this year and our generation too. It must be horrible to experience it. On the internet, I spend most of my time now on YouTube watching motivational videos, productivity and my favourite Chinese dramas nowadays and I realise that people commenting there are quite warm and friendly. So that’s a change for me from toxic online community.
News about our generation seeming to give up on politics can be quite worrisome but I try to see the positive side as well like on Tittok, I see videos of many young people standing up for their rights and to vote for election. Also, in Australia, students protesting for climate change. These are some good things I have noticed. Is there anything good have you observed?

Sorry for rambling too much, I hope you feel better and enjoy your weekend.

Re: TW: I'm terrified about the future

Throughout the year I have witnessed a lot of negative attitudes that seemed to indicate to me that people had just given up and have been reduced to whining with no intention of making things any better, to the point where some people have said they now want global warming to happen as soon as possible so they can all be put out of their misery. It's so heartbreaking to see so many people just lose the will to live in 2020, to the point where they no longer care about anything positive that happens. Time and time again people seem to deny good things that happen because they think it doesn't matter, and they self-sabotage and make things worse, making me worry that people actively want bad things like wars and conflict to happen.

I'm also worried about next year because it doesn't seem like I have much to look forward to and it's gonna be pretty empty at this rate. I haven't found anything I want to study, i don't know if I'll be able to get a job and I've never had one before, which makes me worry I'm unemployable because no one wants to hire someone with aspergers when there are more competent people out there, they won't even give me a chance to prove myself before they just dismiss me for my disability. I also don't know if there will be many events throughout the year because only two conventions in Melbourne have confirmed dates for 2021, which I hope they'll be able to go through with (one is in April and the others in July), especially since New Zealand was able to have a convention in October which has given me some hope for conventions to return. Other than that though, all other conventions that had to be postponed/cancelled have gone completely silent with no word on when they'll come back, making me worry they won't be. I just don't want next year to be another long, slow and tedious year having to wait for the year after, especially since with every year I get older and I feel like time is running out for me. The world makes me wait around for it to be ready, but by the time I'm ready it won't wait for me.

Re: TW: I'm terrified about the future

Hey @Bento, I can totally understand where you're coming from - especially about wanting next year to be as close to 'normal' as possible. It so hard to have our lives on hold for so long, without any knowledge of when will be able to pick up with our original plans. However, I do want to say that as awful as this year has sometimes been, I think it has shown a huge amount of positive action - whether that be from people working hard to support each other through disaster, both fire and pandemic, or the huge activism that occurred across the world that has prompted change for the better for a number of communities. Sometimes, I think humans are really pushed to their highest potential in times of adversity and crisis. 

With regard to getting a job, I really want to assure you that as a person with Asperger's, you are absolutely no less competent than a neurotypical person. Neurodivergent people often have a really unique approach to problems and problem solving that neurotypical people often just aren't able to think of. This means that there are a bunch of roles that are in fact way more suited to those who are on the autism spectrum. I have no doubt that you'll be able to find a job if that's what you want Smiley Happy 

Re: TW: I'm terrified about the future

The thing that makes everything even harder for me is that it's not just this year where I haven't felt normal; I've pretty much never had a normal, peaceful year ever since I entered teenage years. It's just having been in many unfortunate situations that has warped my mind and made it impossible for me to have a normal life. And now I'm worried that next year will be my last chance ever to get my life back on track, because by 2022 it will be too late because I'll be too old and a lot of things I wanted to do may not be around anymore. It's just so frustrating for me because it feels like this year the world is still moving forward and leaving people behind in the dirt even though they literally have not been able to do anything about it all year. Does that make sense? It just really feels like the world is so impaitent and moves on whether or not we're ready, with no consideration for things that might be holding us back.

And also, I should mention I've been told by many different people this year that I really need to stop worrying about what others think, because that is still a problem for me that I let manipulate me, because I've gotten to a point where I'm afraid of other people's judgement.

Re: TW: I'm terrified about the future

Hello @Bento, I think I understand what you mean when you talk about the year moving so fast and leaving some of us behind. It's sometimes unbelievable to think about how fast this year has gone despite all the hardships that we have faced. Time has been helpful for us in some ways, but also not helpful in some of the ways that you spoke about. You spoke about wanting to do some things but feeling worried that they may not be around anymore, would you mind sharing some details about what you mean by that? Are you referring to visiting some locations and being worried about being able to see them as they are (like the great barrier reef or something similar)? I am sorry to hear that you have not felt like you have experienced a normal, peaceful year since your teenage years. Would you like to share more about what you mean by that too? The advice that others have said to you sounds like it could be helpful. What are your thoughts on what they have said? Smiley Happy