TW. I'm terrified

[linkinpark13]

@redhead I think when things get really, really bad we can often surprise ourselves with our ability to care for and protect ourselves especially when things seem impossible or hopeless.

The human spirit is so resilient and I think that the people who go through the most shit but might not believe in their ability to fight back end up being the ones who are the strongest!

[redhead]

So I fucked up pretty badly and now I'm in emergency

[redhead]

I want to sh like I did last night, maybe worse.

The crisis team lady I saw this morning pretty much said the assault was my fault and the best way to get over PTSD is to buy a personal alarm. Thanks ma'am I feel so much better.

[Erin-RO]

Hey @redhead I'm sorry that the crisis team member made you feel that way. That's not fair and also not true. The only person to blame is the person who assaulted you. End of story. This sounds like a really difficult headspace to be in, can you confirm if you're safe right now?

[redhead]

@Erin-ROI don't know. I want to do something stupid.
I'm trying to fight it but it's fucking hard. And since they put me back in injections I haven't been hearing the voices much so I can't even blame them for last night and maybe tonight.

[Erin-RO]

It sounds like you're in a pretty dark space @redhead. I've just sent you an email if you could please take a look.

Also a quick FYI, I edited out a couple of small things from your post. I hope you can understand 

[redhead]

I spoke to the police today and found out he's been released on bail. I'm scared. And he's out for a while until he faces court and then I'll find out how he pleads and if I have to testify in court. Can't deal with that shit. what if he finds me.what if he hurts someone else.

[Taylor-RO]

Hey @redhead, that is a pretty scary situation. I am sorry this is something you have to deal with, I can't imagine how frightened you must be. I think developing some plans may be helpful and provide a little bit of safety/reassurance.  Would you feel comfortable calling 000 if you felt like your safety was at risk? 1800RESPECT could also develop a plan with you.. especially for those times where you are worried about being around/seeing him. I know these situations can bring up a lot of anxiety and fear. What do you think?

[DirtWitch]

@redhead  I'm sorry to hear what happened Is there anything we can do to support you right now? @Taylor-RO's suggestion to make a safety plan is a really good idea; maybe there's something else we can do to help you feel more safe?

[redhead]

@Taylor-RO I've been calling 1800respect a few times.