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Re: TW I really really hate myself

@Bananatime04 I agree with @xXLexi_Lou122Xx - you can always still achieve your dreams. Life can throw us so many challenges sometimes but it just means that when you do finally fulfill your dreams you'll be even more proud of yourself because you know what it took to get you to that stage. I think you'd be a wonderful counselor some day and you can 100% do it!

Re: TW I really really hate myself

Hello @Bananatime04  I am sorry it's been a tough few days for you, especially with the stress of the move! Motion sickness is awful Smiley Sad I'm sorry you're still recovering from the boat.

I understand it would be really really stressful to have your mum and step-dad arguing. Perhaps the stress of the move has been affecting them as well? But it's very difficult on you to hear the arguments and have different plans being thrust upon you when your life has just moved interstate.

How was school today? I'm thinking of you.

Re: TW I really really hate myself

@xXLexi_Lou122Xx no she does not need to grow up. She has her reasons and it is understandable.


I made friends

Re: TW I really really hate myself

@Bre-RO thanks

Re: TW I really really hate myself

@JazzInMay thanks. I’m fine

Re: TW I really really hate myself

...
Okay @Bananatime04.
Do your friends have the same interests as you? Or what sort of things do you have in common, if you don’t mind sharing?

You aren’t okay, you have to stop pretending. Something has happened, I can tell. Are you definitely moving back to Tassie? Is that what’s wrong?

Here for you, if you want me to❤️

Re: TW I really really hate myself

@xXLexi_Lou122Xx yes one of them used to be a gymnast but moved here last year and started dance because there’s no gymnastics and she encouraged me to join. They all love tiktok and they all do dance actually.

Please don’t tell me what I am and what I’m not. I’m not pretending. I just don’t want to talk right now but I don’t want to not reply. So, I don’t have to stop pretending, because I’m not. I know I’m not okay but I don’t want help right now. I can’t deal with this on my own

Re: TW I really really hate myself

...
Sorry...

I'll leave now.

Re: TW I really really hate myself

No no don’t be sorry 😣 I should be sorry.. I feel so bad 😩 I’m sorry

I’m just angry and upset because I was in a crisis last night and was told by my counsellor in my last chat, she would be on but she wasn’t and I’m feeling so broken because I haven’t talked to her in what feels like forever and I need to. The amount of times I’ve been told the wrong days this year just makes me feel so alone because I’m having less support from her, because of the information she’s giving me. I know it’s not an excuse for the way I responded to you, and I truely am sorry. I just feel like it’s impossible for me to recover with no professional support. My khl counsellor was my only professional support but since she’s been lying to me, it just makes me want to throw away all my chances to recover because I know I’m not going to get there without her. I’m sorry 😥 I love you and I really appreciate you being here for me, I just didn’t want to waste your time trying to help me get better when I know I’m not going to recover without my counsellor. She’s all I have left apart from reach out. Reach out is helpful and I love it here but reach out isn’t a service that offers the therapy/counselling required to overcome all this trauma, anxiety, depression, my hallucinations and everything else I struggle with.

I’m sorry Lexi, with all my heart. I don’t want to hurt you and I would never intentionally hurt you. I shouldn’t have said the things I said 😔

Re: TW I really really hate myself

Hello @Bananatime04 , it is nice to see the support that you and @xXLexi_Lou122Xx have been giving to each other. I am sorry to hear that you were unable to get in contact with your counsellor last night. It must be hard not being able to talk to your counsellor as the days have been getting mixed up. I hope that you are able to speak to your counsellor soon to let them know how you are feeling.  

 

I'm sorry that you feel that you cant talk to your KHL counsellor any more. Is there anyone else that you trust that you can talk to when you need?

 

You mentioned that you were in a crisis last night, are you feeling a bit better today? Do you have anything enjoyable planned for today? Heart