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Re: TW - I should just...don't read, I'm not worth it

I don't feel alive. I feel like living dead. I must be insane. Something is horribly wrong.. The images in my head... just no... I feel like I'm falling.... uh no.. this... is.. just... no..

Re: TW - I should just...don't read, I'm not worth it

That sounds scary @loves netball Smiley Sad I remember you talking about panic attacks with one of the mods the other day, could that be what you're experiencing? 

Re: TW - I should just...don't read, I'm not worth it

I'm not scared. My heart rate is low probably no more than 60bpm (usual).

Maybe I feel like I'm walking peacefully into deaths open arms....  weird, I don't even have a plan... I have work tonight....

Re: TW - I should just...don't read, I'm not worth it

Sorry for misreading your post @loves netball! It's great to hear that you don't have a plan to end your life, and that you've got work tonight (I know you're really committed to your work). Would giving your case manager or SCBS a call help? Or something else soothing or distracting?

Re: TW - I should just...don't read, I'm not worth it

I don't know...

I feel like I need to make a plan.... it feels like the right time to die....

what is wrong with me.... last night's GR hurt me....

Re: TW - I should just...don't read, I'm not worth it

I've had that feeling before too @loves netball, but it's wrong. It's the right time to get help, not the right time to die. You deserve to live. I really encourage you to call someone or to use your STOP skill Heart

Re: TW - I should just...don't read, I'm not worth it

I don't feel like I'm in a crisis though. Everything is calm and peaceful. I don't know who to call and what to tell them. Like no one would understand it being the right time to die

Re: TW - I should just...don't read, I'm not worth it

Hey @loves netball

 

Can you describe what happened for you during GR last night?

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Re: TW - I should just...don't read, I'm not worth it

@loves netball how are you today? Are you safe?

Re: TW - I should just...don't read, I'm not worth it

It depends on what safe is. 

Right now I feel like dying would be bliss, I'm ready for it to come, I'd sit through the pain because on the other side I would be content. It would be like everything had vanished and I was free. I would welcome death